Loving Sunday Morning
by ChasingRiven
Summary: A Epic yet classic Romance tale of our two favorite characters. (Jacob Black and Renesmee C./Nessie) Full summary inside Join the adventure and read this.
1. Prologue

Hello I'm new here, i am an devoted Twilight fan and i wanted to share this story i had in my head for months. Please read and review and tell me what you think about it. I hope it's really good because it literally took me three weeks to plan this and get it right. This Prologue alone took me two days but i don't care how long it took me i just want to know if it is good enough for me to continue.

Read and enjoy :)

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**"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."**

**––_The Fault in Our Stars_ by John Green (Great book in my opinion)**

**What happens if you lost your memory from arguing with the one you love and you cannot remember a thing. Your family helps you with your memory but they leave one tiny major detail out. You come back from college and you're a senior now and the break you have you want to introduce to your family your boyfriend who is the son of an important senator. You feel empty, you've felt that way for years and you don't know why. You come back home to feel that void but come to find out that void is someone missing from your life. You know it's wrong to go behind the one you have been with for two years back to fall in love with someone you felt that you've known your entire life. When the truth comes to light about everything you feel betrayed. Now you tell me: Would you run back to the one you've known for two years and feel empty with or to someone who you have betrayed you yet you have an undeniably attraction and connection with that being away from them every second makes it hard to breathe? I tell you the answer but first you have to know the beginning and sometimes the beginning is not always the best place to go but it's always a start. This is how it began, trying to find the truth and love trying to find...My Sunday Morning.**

Prologue: How it began

It is finally summer in Forks Washington. The massive green trees created abstruseness in the primeval forest. Blue empyrean set above the flourishing territory giving it an adventuress feel. The balmy welkin leaves kisses on the superior phenomenon. Feeling elated by the weather, I could not help but sense the sweet pine scent lingering around me as I run around. Freedom hugging me satisfied that I can once more enjoy sweet nature now that I am free to do anything.

Feeling the sun's rays holding my skin as I run, I felt unlimited to the morning sky. Breathing in earth's atmosphere I wanted to shout to the rooftops showing how happy I am right now, graduating as valedictorian from high school not too long ago. I felt so accomplish, not bothering with a party or cook out I wanted to run to feel free. Being accepting into every Ivy league schools that my parents, bugged me to apply for such as Princeton, Harvard, Yale, Brown, Dartmouth, Cornell, Columbia, and University of Pennsylvania; I decided to attend NYU. I needed freedom and an escape from this perfection my family is so keenly focus on. It is my life and I really want to live life the way it is meant to be lived: With my choice and purpose. Though the Ivy League schools continue to call me hoping that I would change my mind, I kindly declined and set my attention on NYU. Despite my father's complaints and my mother's disappointments I already made up my mind. The main reason I chose to go there was my one true chance to be close to him: Jacob, he finally decided to open up a garage in New York mostly Brooklyn, but I still did not mind the travel because I had to be near him. He is my everything, learning that I am in imprintee, it made me motivated to get him to see me as no longer as a child he once took care of but as his life mate.

The thought itself of being his made my knees give up and collapse in the sweet smelling grass. Jacob: My soul mate, my best friend, my life until it truly ends for good; my Jacob. Thinking his name alone shot tingles inside me, my Goosebumps rose up on my skin; I wanted to say his name over and over again as a prayer. He was an untouchable God in my sights the only way I can feel him close is if I think about him or maybe whisper his name.

"Nessie?" a deep, powerful voice called out to me. I did not realize my eyes were closed when I thought of him or when I felt his nonexistent touch on my skin, causing such excitement within me I felt a sudden release within me, making me feel so undone.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" I answered, my cheeks turned bright red from the embarrassment. I sat up from the ground to look up at him properly. He looked down at me causing me to feel such shame to think such thoughts about Jake when he only see me as the little girl he cleaned up behind.

"Your family is looking for you and I knew you would be here so I took the liberty to tell them that I would bring you back after your run" He replied. My face lit up, he always knew what I am feeling without even trying. It was like he was inside me and knew what I would feel before I could feel. Then it hit me.

_Oh crap_

I wondered if he felt my thoughts for him, closely looking at Jake I noticed him avoiding eye contact with me. His expression was hard. He is trying not to look so disgusted at me, which made me feel even low about myself. I need to make the air less tense between us, so I got up dusted any grass particles and did a quick stretch which caused my tank top to rise up flashing Jake a glimpse of my skin.

"Well since you have to bring me back to my folks; you're going to have to catch me first" I instructed while dashing off. Just before I ran away I saw him smirk at my offer. Sprinting right behind me I ran even faster creating some distance between us. Having no idea why I am running away from Jake when all I want to do is smash right into him, but I have this idea hoping it will work to show him I am no longer a kid; mentally that is.]

"Catch me if you can grandpa" I yelled over my shoulder, pushing the human side of me to go further I had to avoid him, this is the fifth time I referred to the old man jokes knowing how much Jake hates to be considered an old man I had to keep him motivated to capture me in his arms. I made this into a cat and mouse tag hunt, to as my rite of passage to freedom and to Jacob.

"You're going to regret those words Nessie" He growled. I felt the deep bass in his voice hit a nerve in my body causing me to melt a quick nano second. I wanted to scream back "is that a promise" and run in his arms allowing him to take me but I had to give him a good chase. So I push the thoughts back, I should know better Jacob respected me and my body since birth. Even as his soul mate he have never tried once to take things further he kept things as a platonic guardian relationship, it became more embarrassing when my hormones kicked in and I began to see him as more than my guardian. He is such a gentleman, a caring, thoughtful, considerate gentleman that was respectful; that pissed me off.

I mean I am young but I am old enough to enjoy the simple pleasures of human affection such as intimate hugs, kisses, cuddling and most of all: sex. I did not want to start my freshman year of college as a girl who's yet to experience her very first kiss. You would think having an old fashion father, it would be burned in your brain to abide by his rules but in fact it's the exact opposite when it comes to Jake. I live life avoiding drugs and alcohol but sex…never have I wanted to experience that love with Jake so badly that it breaks my heart how he can never see me the way I see him.

"Catch up Grandpa" I joked, I know in the next five seconds I would be eating my words, once Jake catches me because I can sense that he is right on my tail. This gives me three seconds to react and one second to think:

_Trees_ I thought. I climbed the trees, knowing it would be the first place he will check. Climbing the tallest tree I could find, I sat on a branch taking the liberty to control my racing heart beat. Downfall being a hybrid is that your human side will take over every chance it gets. Trying to catch breath I failed to use my common sense to think about the location of Jake, but I did not care I was so damn tired from pushing beyond my limits.

"Gotcha" I heard, I jumped out of the branch causing me to lose my grip on the branch my body is resting on. I was about to fall when a pair of strong arms caught me, to place me back on the branch.

"Still clumsy as ever, just like your mother" Jake joked, which caused me to scowl at his joke. He knew I hated being compared to my mother after hearing the story between the two of them. It is still weird having to know the strange closeness they still share; when you are trying to seduce the one you love, you know he has already experience such love before it makes you second guess yourself. Sometimes I feel like a replacement for my own mother knowing how she could never recuperate Jake's feelings when her heart belongs to someone else, that someone else being my father. I slowly turned around to come face to face with my savior, my blood suddenly heats up and my heart is racing from the sight of Jacob.

"Thanks for saving me…yet again" I stated.

"Anytime Ness" Jacob replied giving me a lazy smile, she tussled my hair which shot electricity though me.

_Oh Jake how you don't know what your touch does to me. _I shivered from the shock he gave me, I felt so hot in all the wrong but right places.

_God please let me have my first kiss now please let him see me the way I see him._ I scoot closer to him hoping he would sense my agitation for him to kiss me; hell I would take another simple touch again. I wanted Jacob's touch; they were tiny electric poisons of ecstasy. I gotten addicted to them since thirteen they would send ripples euphoria through me, which cannot be explained. It was like an orgasm without sex, the free will of love without the emotions. I did not mind the sensation he gives me that he does not have a clue about.

"Jacob" I whispered, he snapped out of his own thoughts to give me his undivided attention. Another thing I love about Jacob is he will drop everything for you no matter the importance of it.

"Nessie what's wrong, you're shivering" Jacob answered, closing the gap between us to give me a hug that only made me shiver even more. We are so close the only thing that is separating us is our clothing. I snuggled closer in his chest, being in his arms made me feel safe; I am home when I am in his arms. I had to take the next step; I had to push this forward so he could see me a bit more than a little girl. Removing my head to get a better view of his face, this is my one shot and I had to take it.

"Kiss me" I whispered, I closed my eyes leaning into him praying he will give in too, to this simple harmless deed that meant the world to me. I kept leaning in towards him only to find the cold empty air taking his place. I cracked one eye open to see what is going on, only to find Jake pushing me away from me.

_Did I suddenly have the bubonic plague? _

"No Nessie" He answered

Wait What! He have never told me no before in my life, unless it came to sex but still No! He is tell me, me his other half, his true love, his soul mate NO.

"Excuse me?"

"Nessie, I am not going to kiss you because you are young and naïve, there is so much more you have yet to experience" Everything around me just stopped, my skin felt damp, my chest suddenly heavy. I cannot believe this is happening right now; everything was perfect, I had him right there the moment felt so right and yet the joke is still on me. Tears rushed from its frozen cage; escaped to be free showing him my disappointment. My nose suddenly stung. Did he honestly just reject me? His imprintee?

"You have to be kidding me Jake, please tell me you are pulling my leg you are joking right?" I stated he fixed his face in a way to say: "Does it look like I'm Kidding".

I died right there. Anger flowed through me, I immediately stood on top of the branch; livid from this mockery he is doing to me. He is treating me like a kid; I am eighteen an adult by American government. Hell in other countries eighteen meant you were an old hag that has yet been married yet.

"I am not the same little girl you cleaned up after Jacob, I am eighteen the same age my mother married my father and had me; I know what I want Jacob I want you. I am not being naïve I want to experience love and life with the one I love and that's you. I have waited all my life for you to notice me the way I notice you but all you see me as is a ticket to my mother's good graces. Do you know how long I have waited for you to kiss me Jake, to give me my very first kiss?" I yelled. He just sat there staring at me like a father would do to his little girl when she is throwing a temper tantrum. That made me want to rip my hair out, he still did not get it. I felt so defeated and betrayed right now more tears fell down my eyes from the disappointment. He is destroying me, killing me by treating me like this and all I want from him is to see me as his soul mate not a little girl. But it is no use.

"Why am I bothering talking to you, when it's clear you only see me as a little girl. It's obvious that you don't want me, this is a mistake" I answered.

"Excuse me?"

"This is a mistake Jacob you imprinting me, it is a mistake obviously you made the wrong choice" I stated slowly for his wolf ears to hear, because I did not want to be too fast for him.

"I just wish you never—"

"Don't say it Renesmee" Jacob growled, you back then when I was endlessly in love with him his anger would turn me on and I would pray to God that he would just kiss me right there in then but now all it did is piss me off. I decided to challenge him because I wanted to hurt him just as much he destroyed me. Moving more towards him still standing up, I could feel the branch about to give up if I do not sit down but I did not care. I looked Jacob dead right in his eye took one deep breath and opened my mouth.

"I wish you never imprinted on me!" I yelled for the whole heavens to hear and just like that branch beneath me broke I tried holding onto something but it is too late I am falling down. Everything is moving in fast motions but it feels like forever my body is in the air, I tried to call out to Jacob but his name is stuck in my throat. I cannot see him anymore he is removed from my head. It was not until my head hit the rock that I felt my skull crack opened to make everything in my vision fade to black. I am dead, and my body tried to leave but something is pulling me back. A sliver piece of string clung unto my body like a life coat, dragging me back to an unknown location.

_Why is it even there? _I tried to cut it but the damn string held on tighter to me, the stupid thing must have been made out of titanium for all that I know. It refused to let me go, almost like it is a person keeping me grounded.

_Who are you? Where are you? What are you?_

Those questions swarm through my mind. I knew the answers to these questions, it is on the tip of my tongue but it is stuck. I tried to think but the longer I pondered on the question the further the answers flew away from me.

_Who am I? Why am I in the dark? Do I like the dark? Or maybe I like the light? _The answers were on my tongue I felt it there but it was slowly removing itself from my mouth but it is still there like it never left.

_What happened to me?_

Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep

What is that sound? I walked towards the sound, only to be blinded by a strong burning bright light. Walking to the light my eyes that felt heavy suddenly opened with ease. My body is lying down on a bed that felt uncomfortable, turning my head to figure out where I am; I see a helicopter pad right out my window.

_Okay you are in a hospital, but why? Did you catch a bad cold? _I tried to remember but it made my head send me sharp pains in return. I looked around to find people to help me, tell me why I am in this bed. I did not find people but instead I found gorgeous people surrounding me.

_Did I win a contest? Oh my God do I have Cancer!_

I tried to figure out the simple questions but nothing, I tried to figure out the main question: what is your name? But nothing came to mind. My mind came to a blank.

She's awake. I read the blonde's lips; I could not hear anything which scared me.

_Was I born deaf?_ A man in a white lab coat approached me to remove something from my ears. A way of noise filled my ears; breathing out relief that I am not deaf made me happy. When I looked at the man in the doctor's coat, he is extremely beautiful he could be a model if he wanted to. He had this movie star look to him, beautiful complexion, amazing body and beautiful eyes. His eyes when I looked into his eyes they were gentle golden eyes of the innocent kind hearted man, I felt something familiar about him but it still did not hit me. I knew him, I am that certain of myself. It is like I have all the puzzle pieces but I do not know which goes which because I never seen it before in my life.

"Nessie are you okay, Jacob called up telling us you fell, what were you thinking?" A women asked. She had a frighten look on her heart shaped face. I could see the beautiful dimple engraved in her face, her billows of soft wavy caramel color hair is a mess. It took different directions, she looked rushed like she rushed to come here; yet she still loves like an old Hollywood actress. Wait she called me Nessie, What in the world is a Nessie. My name is Jessica…no it does not fit.

"Who's Nessie?" They all gasped, the striking blonde women looked distraught, and I can see it in her eyes. I was too amazed by her beautiful statuesque, elegant figure similar to a model's but better. She has long wavy blond hair that falls halfway down to the middle of her back that perfectly suits the golden/black eyes. I felt jealous just looking at her but when I caught the look of guilt in her eyes I could not help but love her till my heart stopped beating.

"Nessie you don't remember me?" The blonde women asked I tilt my head giving her a vacant stare because I have no recollection of who they are to me.

"That's not true that little squirt has to remember me right?" a man with dark curly hair, he looked like a serious body builder but I shook my head still no recollection of his statement. I started to get scared from all their questions, I moved up trying to create a distance between me and them. I wanted to go home but there is a problem with that: I do not know where exactly home is.

"Who are you people? Where's my family I want to go home" I asked, I panicked I felt like they were trying to kidnap me and drag me to be a part of their weird cult. I tried to find the remote to ask for help and for them to be taken away. But all of it went away, I suddenly felt calm and did not mind them being around me; I knew this was not my doing. Someone was making me feel this way; I searched through to find the perpetrator for my emotions. My eyes came into direct contact with the honey brown hair one, he has pale, marble-like skin, inhuman beauty and bruise-like purple shadows under his eyes, but captured my eye was the scars he bared on his face, neck and jaw, they looked like bites. Peculiar bites, I felt sorry for him but the longer I stared it was admiration like I knew the story behind those scars yet it still did not come to me.

"Do you remember me?" a beautiful person, petite, women asked she looked extremely short out of all the people in this room with me. She is thin, with small, "pixie-like" features. She is also have large eyes and long, delicate eyebrows. Her hair is cropped short, spiky, and inky black. I felt like she was my best friend or something but still nothing hit me.

The man in the lab coat approached me, I tried to back away but something about him made me stay in place.

"What is your name?"

"I don't know"

"Where are you?"

"A hospital I'm guessing"

"How did you get here?"

"I don't know"

"What day is it?"

"Friday…no Saturday…Sunday?" everyone gasped. The last two couples looked at me, I felt something close about them, and I felt connected to them. The women have a very pale complexion with long, straight, dark brown hair, and a widow's peak. Unique chocolate brown eyes and a heart-shaped face with a wide forehead, her eyes are large and widely spaced. Her nose is thin and her cheekbones are prominent. Her lips are a bit too full for her slim jaw line. And her eyebrows are darker than her hair and are straighter but arched. She buried her head in the man's neck I saw a wedding ring on her finger so I guess they are married. The man had a pained expression read across his beautiful face. His facial features alone are perfect and angular - high cheekbones, a strong jaw line, perfect eyebrows, a straight nose and full lips. His untidy hair retains the unusual bronze shade, when I look at mind I see we have the same hair color. When I look at the mirror not too far from me I see that I have the two people's beautiful features, I have the man's amazing facial features and the women's brown eyes but from somewhere else a long time ago, but I cannot remember what. But neither of them have curly hair, I wonder where I gotten it from, a few minutes later it clicked in my head that they were my mother and father and the others were related to me as well. It did not make sense how I can be related to those beautiful people standing a foot away from me in this very room when I do not know who I am.

"Excuse me do they have to be here?" I asked it did not make sense I wanted them to leave, it was all too much for me. I started taking sharp deep breaths but I still could not catch it.

"Who are you?" the doctor asked again.

"I do not know"

"Excuse us for a minute" The doctor ushered the people out the room and excused himself as well. They stared talking but from their gestures they were highly upset. I started to hear them clearly, as if they were still in this room with me, I could not believe it. My hearing is exceptionally phenomenal but it still scared the life out of me.

"It seems to be that Renesmee have memory loss and brain litigation, the memories are there but it's difficult for her to create them in her head. But it's all there; judging by the way she looked at each and every single one of us she is able to make the connection but she finds it troubling to piece the puzzles together" The doctor said.

"Carlisle, what do you mean" The man who I believe could be my father stated, he looked so angry but the women in his arms tried to calm him down.

"Edward this is my entire fault I shouldn't have let her go" The women cried.

"Bella calm down it's not your fault" The man named Edward soothed the one named Bella. I felt so sorry for them they were so heartbroken I wanted to help them but I just could not.

"It must have been that mutt's fault he was the only one there with her" The beautiful blonde women snapped.

"Rosalie you must not blame Jacob, he said so himself the branch broke when she stood on it and it happened so fast he could not react to it" Carlisle stated.

"Why didn't you see it coming Alice!" Rosalie yelled Alice just buried her head in the man's arms the one with the scars I guess they are together, but what I cannot get my head wrapped around is what happened. I felt in me they were superior to humans and inferior to God, something about them seemed out of the ordinary and yet I am content with it.

"Edmund what is she thinking?" the women name Bella asked they all looked at me and I looked back at them, why would he know what I am thinking?

"She thinks we are connected to her but she does not know why. She even thinks we are superior to humans and inferior to God" He whispered. My eyes widen in shock, he knew exactly what I am thinking, I should be freaked out about it but I was calm about it. I knew it is something that he does on a regular basis and I am okay with it. I just wish I knew the connection between them and me then maybe it might help me put one more piece of the puzzle together. I guess I am so focused with my thoughts I did not hear them come in, their expressions still read that they should tread softly on the thin ice they are walking on but that did not stop them from having a range of hope spread across their eyes.

"Would you like to know who we are" The one name Rosalie whispered so softly it would be impossible for the human ear to hear and I felt like I am not human but my body can say otherwise. The buff looking guy closed the curtains to prevent anyone from the outside to see what is going on, on the inside here. I slowly swallowed my spit feeling frighten by the fact that they might kill me but something inside me hushed the fear telling me it is ok they are good people. I looked at the man with the honey brown hair thinking it is him but his eyes read he have nothing to do with the feeling coursing through my body.

"Your name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you are our daughter" The women with brunette hair stated, she stepped up closer to me with the man whose hair color is just like mine.

"Our name is Edward and Bella Cullen" The man stated "Your mother and father, these are your aunts and uncles Carlisle and Esme is your grandfather and grandmother". I looked at them, a small fuzzy image stared to surface in my head, I could not see it as much but it was forming, I have indeed seen them before. I remember a time but I cannot put it together, the picture slowly started to move like a movie. I believe they are my memories of them, it slowly started to come to me and it clicked slowly. I know who they are, searching to be certain the pieces of the puzzle stuck together like glue. When I looked back into their eyes once more I knew for sure they were my parents. Tears started to fall down my eyes and I remember who they are.

"Mom, Dad" I cried they wasted no time to rush to me. Hugging me and whispering how scared they were that they thought they lost me. The others looked sad thinking I did not remember them; I gave them a smug smile opening my arms to them their sad faces transformed into a delighted one. Filling in any opened spaces to hug me I just returned the hug feeling so happy, I thought about how happy I am that I can remember them. I felt an unknown feeling leaving me with that thought of my happiness going into each and every single one of them. I broke the hug when I felt my thoughts going into them, I suddenly gotten scared all over again; backing away from them I felt like a freak but they all still surrounded me.

"And there is another thing we must tell you" my mother whispered.

"But first, how about a story" Carlisle interrupted. I smiled because I remember how much I love his stories, everyone sat down knowing the truth behind the story as he began…

"There was a boy, whose father was a pastor in the sixteen hundreds…"

Before visiting hours were over I learned the truth about who I am and what I am.

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Review please If i get five to ten review by Tues i will post the next installment on Wednesday.

Well off i go ChasingRiven.


	2. You're Beautiful

A/N: Here is the first installment that took me legit three whole days to hand write it and one week to type because I don't have a computer I have to find one; trust me when I say it is not easy getting your hands on a computer. So Enjoy, Read, Vote and Give me your opinions I am a very open person.

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Chapter One:

You're Beautiful

Like an ocean wave, the ferocious whistling breeze clawed its way through the supple flourishing leaves, ripping its way to the strong bark. The liberated leaves flowed, dancing along with the angry wind feeling so free and careless: Freedom.

It's been a good two years since my accident, my family told me what happened; while I went hunting I lost footing when I climbed to hit a rock as I landed. As they explained it Carlise and Esmes' face produce discouragement to the tragedy. I felt so bad that my accident made them feel guilty, their eyes said it all as my father and Rosalie explained.

_It doesn't seem to fit. _My mind screamed over and over. Red flags flashed in my head about it, it even pounded with such barbarity I felt like a fool to believe my parents over my own common sense. Yet when I tried to find a logical reason as to why they would lie to be about my accident, my mind just drew blanks. It did not fire back with facts only feelings so I pushed it behind and listen to my family like any child would. Recalling the past events as I waited for my stop on the train, my best friend/Roommate Kelsey pointed how Times Square is suppose to have some big event but with this wind who knows. I laughed at her remark, she always knew how to put a smile on my face that Kelsey. Kelsey short not passing 5'4 anytime soon, with bleach blonde hair that only reach to her shoulders and feels like pure silk. Complexion to match an anorexic model, with tanned highlights to enhance her skin. She held such venomous bites to those that looked at her the wrong way, but how could they not she is just skin and bones with an attitude to match. Being a part of the Esquire legacy by attending Yale from the time when Yale was first built. Prestigious blue blood running through her selfish polished veins, she made sure no one forgot about it. Slim, curvaceous malnourished body made all the boys crave her like Christmas day; too bad rich Yale boys is not on her menu for potential rich fool of a husband meal plan. Headset to complete and receive her B.S in Statistics, Kelsey is determined to school Wall Street boys on how the stock exchange market is meant to be done. Many thought she could be pulling their leg with that simple joke, but one thing I have learned about Kelsey from the two years I shared with her is she always ends up right and always prove them wrong.

Feeling the train rattle and shake I held on to the pole across from me, I always hated subway trains they could put you in a near death experience without even trying. Even after two years certain motions made me scared, I acquired catpedaphobia and kinetophobia from the accident. I told Kelsey my story how I was climbing and slipped to my death, she understood completely never pushed me to do something outside of my comfort zone. Another thing about Kelsey I grown to love about her is under all that over the surface, dense facade laid a generous, kindhearted girl who has a heart of gold.

"Ness, this is pointless we will never make it in time" a velvety deep English voice spoke; it ripped my thoughts away from my brain to give my undivided attention to the voice. Red slowly crept to my face when my eyes paired with intense green ones. His eyes reminded me of the old fashion coke bottles when they were green, and when the sunlight hits a certain angle just right, the bottle glitters like diamonds. Almost like my family, but it is different, like looking at the sun instead rather than the diamond itself, to admire its radiance.

Smiling at Dexter, I took his hand into mine giving me permission to scoot closer to his body. He felt so warm, and cold at the same time, it made me blush even further being that this body temperature made me feel squishy inside.

"Sorry Dexter, Kelsey really wanted to go to Times Square and I know you wanted so spend time alone together, but at least we are together" I replied, he opened his mouth baring his slightly crooked teeth to me. The sun shone on his red orange hair making him look blonde, his chiseled strong face softens by my words making him look like a child.

"It's alright love" He answered; as he leaned forward to give me a quick kiss on the lips I closed my eyes to blush even deeper. As I opened them slowly, a lot of jealous glares were shot both Dexter and my way. Feeling so ashamed by my actions I buried my head in Dexter's shoulder, hoping they would all look away soon.

"Haven't you ever seen two love birds make-out before, my God people grow up already" Kelsey announced "It's not like they are having sex on this train!" My eye shot open, I am use to Kelsey's sudden outburst here and there because she never keeps her opinions to herself, whether good or bad; but this one is completely unnecessary.

"Kelsey, my God must you choose today to be off your bloody mediation" Dexter snapped "You can be such an embarrassment sometimes". Kelsey completely mocked him, when she bowed and apologized in a crude way: "My apologies your majesty I didn't know I wasn't entitled to my opinion in America" And what made it worse she did it in an English accident. Dexter closed his eyes pinching the bridge of his nose trying not to stir the pot even more, one thing about Yale students; just because they were accepted to an elite school does not mean they will be nice. Oh no it gives them more ammunition, better reason to attack their peers not only about their family status but also being accepted to an Ivy League school. It was just the icing that they needed on their birthday cake, so now that they have their cake they will definitely eat it too.

Something about it always stirred me the wrong way. It is like I mix with their crowd but in my heart I am nothing like them, I do not belong with them but I just do. That gave me such a spotlight once the Deans sniffed me out to have me as their centerpiece on their mantel. Usually once a Dean starts showing kindness towards you people automatically thinks you are sleeping together; however if your Dean starts showing kindness towards you and gloat to his colleagues about having the "infamous Cullen" aboard, everyone believe you are a celebrity. Which means everyone wants to be your friend. During the few months of my stay I did not know who liked me for me, but that all changed when I met Kelsey and Dexter. Kelsey became my friend protecting me from the fakes and Dexter became my support system. Soon we became inseparable the three of us, then Dexter and I started dating a month our freshman year and became two years strong straight off the bat. My feelings for him never fazed and vice versa. There are days I have my doubts, but they always scare those feelings away as a mother soothes a child's nightmares away; that became the highlight of my stay in Yale. I soon learn to grow fond of Kelsey and love for Dexter.

"Guys, can you please refrain yourselves from fighting I want to enjoy this simple day before my flight when I head home in Washington! so when we get to the airport you can rip each other's heads off then" My voice raised, criticizing them for acting like toddlers, it furiated me how for aristocrats who are born to develop class can act the complete opposite, Three year olds have better sense than them. Once the subway train came to a complete stop, arriving to Broadway, I removed I from Dexter got up and walked away. Pushing past the crowd that wanted to enter in I made sure not to touch them, getting use to my powers again, I learned when I am very emotional I project without even knowing. Keeping my hands glued to my sides, crowds pushed their way in like high tidal waves. Being pushed back and forth I started to get mad, subconsciously I did not know I was touching people until my hand brushed against an object that felt extremely hot. Not aware of the effect, a jolt of electricity sprint through my veins. Causing me to stop everything I am doing, I felt an abstruse pull from nowhere. According to a desolate persistence I had to find the owner of the string who kept reeling me in. Walking up the train stairs I followed my gut instinct hoping when everybody disappears I will locate the holder. Touching the very last step, my heart forms such a passionate feeling, I felt my ribs crushing my organs, my palms grew sweaty, and my lungs suddenly disappeared. I have not felt this way since...I do not even remember and even if I tried, it would be a blank. Yet this feeling spoke on its own, it made me feel a small spark; igniting inside me, feeling so familiar, it still made my puzzles a bigger mystery. As the crowd finally disperses; I weaved my way past those that were going left and right. My gut told me to go straight no matter what, I listened after a few feet of going one solid direction I saw a head that clench my heart and produced more sweat. I knew right there I found my-the owner, picking up the pace I made sure I did not move to fast to make people do a double take. Coming close to the figure, I profiled him, I am sure it is a man because of the built in the back that looked more manly than feminine. His height, alone is ridiculous; his arms alone could be the same height as me. When he slowly turned his head I managed to get a small profile of him and that made the breath in my throat refused to move. How can I get this feeling for some stranger I barely knew? He wore a striped sweater jacket, low riding men jeans and converses; simple attire but he made it look hot from the back. It made me wonder if his back side looked this marvelous what his front could be. Curiosity got the best of me; nothing else mattered to me until I saw his face. Inching closer to him, I reached my hand out to put a face to this amazing backside.

"Renesmee!" Kelsey yelled, immediately caught for stealing valuable time from them I quickly turned around to find Kelsey's worried face searching for me. I ran up to her hoping I could assure her I am find, that way I could catch up to the stranger and see his face. Dexter followed right behind her when his eyes met mine, he rushed to my side to check and hug me. An outbreak of malefaction exteriority possessed my body, feeling like the criminal I am for running off to chase a guy made me a terrible girlfriend to Dexter. Abruptly the feeling to find the stranger who captured my attention with a simple touch faded away. My soul purpose changed back to Dexter and Kelsey again.

"What were you thinking? I was so worried about you" Dexter whispered in my ear. He caressed my tresses; I felt his emotions wash over me when he hugged me. Censurable tears rolled down my eyes showing how despicable I felt inside, I never meant to worry any of them especially Dexter. My heart squeezed when he said that, giving him one more hug I let it linger longer than I wanted to, but I had to show Dexter how sorry I am, I never meant to follow the stranger; but something inside me pulled me to and I had to.

"I am so sorry Dexter, I just started following this stranger, I don't even know-" His lips softly touched mine keeping the next string of words from escaping. Something inside me died when I felt his lips kiss mine, it did not feel right at all it felt so forced and disconnected. His lips did not belong with mine yet it felt right in an odd way. Neglecting the distress my heart caused when Dexter kissed me, I forced myself to kiss him back, I always have been forcing myself to kiss him, and it never comes naturally. My body is trying to tell me that Dexter is not the one I should be kissing, that his lips do not deserve to be with mine. But whose lips should I kiss then? Whose lips have the privilege to be with mine? Shaking the feeling I wrapped my arms around Dexter and allowed him for the first time to hold me. He lifted me up from the ground twirling me around, my grip tensed around his motion, sensing my discomfort he placed me down quickly whispering how he forgot about my fears. Kelsey smiled but told us if we don't hurry up the event will be over, but what made me feel upset is when she gave Dexter a pointed look. My gaze shifted between the two of them, they have been so secretive over the past two weeks; my heart dropped feeling so left out.

"What's going on between the two of you?" I demanded I removed myself from his arms to get a better view of the suspects.

"This has been going on for two weeks straight, it's pathetic how you two are being sneaky behind my back and not think I wouldn't notice" I yelled, all eyes is on us but I did not care. I hated how close Dexter and Kelsey are one being that they used to date each other, and another how their families are best friends. It just put me out of their secret world, they knew how I felt about it and they still do it.

"Ness—"

"No, don't Ness me. Don't you dare Ness me, now tell me what is going on right now" I stated. Dexter and Kelsey exchanged glances before looking at me. Neither of them wanted to own up to their faults that they have been caught red handed; I could not believe what I am seeing. Turning on my heels I headed towards the ticket booth, I needed to buy an express ticket to go straight to the airport to head back home to Forks.

"Ness, please wait" Kelsey called out; ignoring her I kept on walking. I felt Dexter's hand latched onto mine dragging me to leave the train station. Refusing to talk to them, I did not protest when Dexter pushed me into a taxi with him and Kelsey inside. I refrain myself from looking at either of them, if they wanted to act like criminals they were going to be treated like one. Once we arrived at our destination they pulled me out of the taxi, I noticed we are not in Times Square, instead we are right in front of the biggest jewelry store know to man: Tiffany's & Co.

"I don't understand why are we here?" I questioned.

"Ness, you cannot deliberately be this dumb" Kelsey sighed. I blinked at the both of them then the store, when I looked at Dexter to explain what is going on, he is down on one knee, with my hand in his. Then it hit me.

_Oh boy _

Suddenly misplaced my breath, my heart and mind did not agree with his display of action.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, will you do me the honors and become my wife" Dexter proposed. I felt I am being drowned in the sea, with no one to save me; Yet here is Dexter being my life boat who wants to save me, and I did not know if I even wanted him or not. I did not have much time yet at the same time being a Vampire Hybrid I had all the time I needed, but I could not take being alone in the sea for so long, my body told me to wait a little longer that my true rescuer is on his way but He had two years to save me, I needed to be saved right now and my only option was to say: "Yes Dexter I will".

He smiled picking me up in his arms, Kelsey screamed on the top of her lungs claiming the right to be my maid of honor. I remained shocked from my answer; shattered by my outcome I am to be another's wife. While many killed to be in this very position I am in now, I just faked the smile on my face and fooled those two matching the same happiness if not more. Something inside me said this is a mistake, but my brain killed that voice to state Dexter is an excellent suitor and my family will love him. Now all you have to do is fall in love with him.

"Aw Dexter She's still in shock" Kelsey commented, Dexter placed me down to get a good look at my face. A worried expression consumed his face, and I could not let him think that this is a mistake. Reassuring him that I am happy I held out my left hand to him for the ring.

The two of them smiled.

"The reason we were being so secretive over the past two weeks, I wanted to find the perfect ring for you Ness" Dexter explained. Reaching in his pants pocket he pulled out his wallet looked through the zipper pocket to present me the most beautiful ring I have ever seen.

"Dexter I can't accept that ring" I gasped.

"nonsense Ness, you deserve the best, and I will give you nothing but the best if not more" He stated, placing an Edwardian Engagement ring; there is no way this could be real.

"Wow this replica must have cost a fortune" I stated. Dexter gave me this look, I knew that look because when he bought me a diamond necklace from tiffany's on our anniversary I asked him if it were fake and he made that exact same look before he told me that it was real-.

"Dexter please tell me this is a replica Edwardian engagement ring on my finger right now"

"Why would I give my bride to be a fake ring let alone a replica?"

"Dexter!" I suddenly turned pale by his response. Looking at my finger that now became a home to a Provence Edwardian engagement ring, it felt like an anchor of regret weighting my body down. Kelsey pushed Dexter aside to view the ring; I saw how her eyes fell in love for the ring. She rapidly grew hungry to admire that ring on my finger until she had her fill, I could not blame her l felt myself being drawn towards the ring as well. But every time she would look at the ring my heart would sink, the beautiful unheated oval sapphire ring became a crystal ball showing me the fate I signed up for, as the tiny diamonds that surrounded the entire ring danced around the light reminding me every second what I have chosen to be my fate.

"We should celebrate"

"Yes we should, how about that bar I saw not too far from—"

"No!" I yelled they looked bewildered, drained from today's events and finding out the real reason why Kelsey dragged me to New York out of the blue and how Dexter pretended to drag his feet until I begged him to come with me. They planned this engagement; I lost my will to congratulate them on their conspiracy and me for being the victim for falling under their trap.

"I'm just overwhelmed, I want to tell my family—we all should go as I tell my family the exciting news. My aunt Alice will be thrilled to have something to look forward to when she is in her planning mood" I answered. Giving a cheeky smile the two gave in, followed me back in the cab that patiently waited for us to take us back to the subway that will take us to the train station. I wanted my thoughts to go anywhere I did not want to think about what just happened and the anchor on my finger. Watching the cab trying to zoom past other cars and people without getting into traffic reminded me of the time I started my first day at Yale…

"I promise mom I will call you every second of my day" I joked. I heard Uncle Emmett laughing at my joke. He called out to my mom to let me live a little, college life is actually fun, you should know. I smiled my uncle always coming to my defense despite his mean jokes at the end. My mom told him to shut up and accept the fact you got your butt whooped by me. Rolling my eyes I told my I would call her later. Leaving the two to argue, I hung up my phone to get my keys from my pocket. My family sent me a box that I had to open "When the time is right" or something, I rolled my eyes at the statement they were always so secretive about everything. Unlocking the door I see half the other half of the room decorated with expensive designer brand furniture and tickets. Tossing the box to the side, I took the time to admire the painting that hung above her bed frame.

"Beautiful isn't it?" A short blonde girl asked, as she approached me I got a waft of her skin that is drenched inn Chanel perfume.

"Is that a Picasso?" I asked, turning my attention back on the painting. It looked so complicated yet simple; it reminded me of what is going on in my head right now. Perplexed by such a masterpiece I did not see her come closer.

"You know by staring at it this long it won't give you the answers you're looking for" She commented. When I did a double take between the girl and the painting her words danced around my head it made me think: Did I need an answer?

"My name is Kelsey Esquire, daughter of Senator Esquire and heiress of McThore's of England" the girl held her hand out to me, I looked at it for a minute then shook it, but it did not feel right so I pulled her in for a hug.

"Sorry, I just felt like doing it because I think it's something I would do" I answered. Kelsey gave me a questioning look.

"What do you mean you think?" She asked. I explained my accident leaving out the hunting part, I told her I went rock climbing and slipped, cracked my skull and lost my memories. She gave me a heartwarming hug and connected with me that instant. A few days later I soon learn Kelsey is a rude, conniving, selfish, coldhearted, bitch that I question our friendship. Then on Friday we had a fight about the room door, so I stormed out not caring where to go or look until I bumped into someone.

"I am so sorry, Just my crazy roommate is driving me insane" I explained when my eyes met the intense green ones I stopped talking. He is so gorgeous not as beautiful compared to my family, but enough to make you stop talking to give your full attention to.

"Its fine" He replied, I heard his strong English accent answered. It made my knees wobble a bit; his voice is so beautiful I am tempted to give him a dictionary to speak from.

"Don't worry about Kelsey, she can be a real pain in the ass but she is only like that to people she truly cares about, once she fully opens to you then you will see that she have shown you her true self" He answered, as he started to walk away. I felt so shock by his words I wanted to know who he is. When I turned around to ask him for his name he beat me to the punch to ask me for a cup of coffee and a walk. Still amazed and dazed I said yes and followed him out. That was the day I met Dexter and learned to understand Kelsey.

"Ness, hurry up this Subway is about to leave." Kelsey yelled. I followed behind her and made it on time before the subway doors closed and left. Dexter saved me a seat next to him, but I declined I felt like standing on my own two feet right now. Despite the fear of motion I knew sooner or later I would have to get over that fear.

"So what is your family like?" Dexter asked I looked at him confused by his sudden curiosity of my family. I opened my mouth to answer his question when I saw a reflection in my ring. Just as I looked inside the ring to see a bit better, I felt a conventional tug around me. It happened to be that same feeling when I got off; He is on the subway. Searching around through the crowds standing on my tippy toes, desperately trying to locate him I could not find him, the stripped sweater jacket, Low riding man jeans and converse sneakers guy, just a sea of busy people getting to their very own destinations. I tried to look harder but no avail. I gave up and casually started to observe my surroundings, I could hear my stomach begin to growl placing a hand on it I knew it's been a while since my last feed. I promised my dad I would hunt where I could find deer and to my luck it is only at night when the campus is closed and no one could leave. I looked around noticing all the delectable creatures for the first time, I knew I could kill them all and feed from them but that all went away when my eyes caught a profile view of this man, who had to be a model he is the hottest guy I have ever seen. Although I could not see much of him, I could not help but stare at him from the angle I am given. His beautiful russet skin sent bizarre euphoric tingles down my spine his jet black hair made me want to run my fingers through them. Something about him made me feel like a child with a super crush all over again, slowly fighting the urge to bite my lips at him I turned my head towards Kelsey. She looked at me then at the direction I lingered towards, she looked so confused. Turning my head to see the mystery man once more, my heart sunk; he disappeared, feeling so disappointed I kept my head to Dexter and Kelsey; I wanted him to stay longer so when the subway stopped he would walk past me. He put me in such a haze of ecstasy, it felt amazing almost better than cloud nine. How come?

Shrugging the feeling I got off the stop with the gang to head towards Grand Central Station. Kelsey pulled me to the side so Dexter can go renew our tickets.

"What were you staring at?"

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you give the wall some longing look, like it made you yearn for something" Kelsey explained which confused me. I know what I saw, and it was not some wall I gave a yearning look at it was a man with beautiful skin and hair.

"You didn't see him"

"See who" she answered.

"There was an extremely hot as the sun guy not too far from me on the train" I replied.

"Ness, there was no guy I looked when you first turned your head, there was no guy maybe from your imagination sure; but on that train, definitely not" She stated. I shook my head, ignoring her. Dexter brought our tickets and ushered us on the train.

But I just could not help but wonder, was it all in my imagination?

Imagination or not I know what I saw, a hot man who made me feel like time stopped for the two of us. And just for that spilt second that small second I forgot my fears when I looked at him, he held such power he just did not know it. It may sound silly to have such an idea for a stranger especially for a man who is not my fiancé but I did not care something about him felt stronger than what I have with Dexter. When I looked at him it stirred something inside me, I felt free, or happy something about him when my eyes met his direction unlocked a free spirit inside me I never thought I had. But as I took my seat by the window on the train, that spirit slowly died as the train moved away, making me face the truth; I could never just start my life with a complete stranger that was a few feet away. It is not right, I have Dexter my life boat that came to my rescue when I drown, not some random stranger that pulled me in with a touch or a stranger with such beauty just Dexter.

But no matter what.

"You're beautiful to me" I whispered hoping the stranger could hear my tiny prayer as I looked at my ring. As I closed my eyes dreaming of that shared moment we experienced together. It put a smile on my face the entire train ride back to Yale.

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I hoped you enjoy this: Read Review Promote and give me your opinions.

P.S I own nothing but my ideas.

Be patient with me the Second chapter will take a while to post.

Off i go...

ChasingRiven


	3. Hello

A/N: i wanted you guys to have chapter two. Please Review i really want to know if you guys like it or not. Sorry for the wait it takes me three days to literary hand write it then a week to type it because i don't have a computer. But that is least of our matters, what's important is that you guys like it. Enjoy :)

* * *

Chapter Two: Hello

"Flight 2401 to Seattle Washington is about to board in one minute" the flight attendant announced.

"We will have first class board first" Tapping Kelsey to wake up, we gave the flight attendant our boarding pass and docked the plane. Sitting by the window I felt so anxious, and excited.

"So what did your parents say when you told them" Kelsey groaned, she is not an early riser, neither am I. My attention still towards the window I could not face her, I knew she wanted to know if I told my family about Dexter; I always tell them everything but for this one occasion I did not.

"I did not tell them, I just told them I am coming home with a friend and news to share" I answered.

"So what are you going to tell them when Dexter arrives tomorrow and see that huge rock on your finger" Kelsey stated, I looked down at my finger to see the ring.

"They won't know until Tomorrow's party when Dexter comes to share the news with me" I snapped

"Relax Ness, they will love him no need to be so scared". But the thing is I am not scared at all, just furious, but I do not even know for what.

"It's that obvious, huh?"

"You have no idea; so if the engagement party announcement is tomorrow that they have no idea about, what are they throwing you today?" Kelsey asked.

"Aunt Alice decided to throw a welcome back party, so when we arrive to Seattle we'll change for the party. Pick up the car and go celebrate" I stated. Kelsey nodded, before drifting back to sleep, I on the other hand took the time to look at my hand again, trying to admire the ring but I cannot. Dexter went through great lengths to flash his family's money in my face and it made it hard to feel grateful for the living testament that is sparking in my face. I am trying to be blessed to be his girlfriend/fiancé but something inside me is screaming how there is so much more than being the wife of Dexter. How will my life even be once I walk down that aisle hold his hand and say I do? How can I even stand there in front of my family and few friends to kiss him when I barely like the idea to place my lips to his? After we marry who will I be? A sophisticated elegant wife who only wear designer clothes, pretend to cook for a loving nuclear family. Host dinner parties and have social circles with women who are unhappy with their husbands so they find that love they missed as a teenager with a younger man who barely experience life first hand? Will I attend elite parties, in elegant expensive ball gowns that your average women cannot pay because the dress is as much as her mortgage? Only to look good on Dexter's arms and have mindless conversations about politics with old money men who only see the glass empty when it is really half full.

It did not make sense, I do not think I could be the wife of a boy who comes from old money; yet here I am being a hypocrite to my own words as the ring beams from the sunlight. Placing the blinds down I needed to push, the ring, The Dexter, the Kelsey, the engagement away from me to focus on…well me.

Good thing it's a long flight from New Haven to Seattle.

"Thank you for flying with us; have a nice day" the pilot announced. Slapping Kelsey's hand away from her head I told her, we arrived.

"Wow Mike was not kidding when he said that Zantacs work wonders" Kelsey muttered.

"I thought you said you would never go for Yale boys" I asked "What changed?"

"Nothing did, I know I said I'd never date them, never said I wouldn't use them" she answered. Another thing about Yale kids, they are very fond of using their peers to get what they want no matter what the cost will be in the long run. Shaking my head at Kelsey I picked up my bags, and head out the plane. Kelsey following my tail she did an intake of my home, the scrutiny of animosity clutched her face as a kid would to their parents the first day of kindergarten.

"You live here" she did not bother to hide the disgust from her voice.

"No, I don't kells I told you I live in Forks for the umpteenth time" I answered, rolling my eyes; I too looked around only to find admiration for Seattle. It held such diversity and a friendly vibe you would be an idiot not to like it here. Kelsey clinging onto me feeling so scared, I guess I am friends with an Idiot. I looked around, dragging the scared child with me we headed towards a nearby star bucks to have a little coffee to fuel us, it is like being in New York, when in Seattle it is always so hard to describe its beauty.

After getting our coffees, Kelsey began to lighten up and relax. Even blue bloods get scared sometimes, being in a new environment I guess.

"So where's the car?" Kelsey asked looking around I smiled at my friend, reaching in my bag to pull out the keys in front of her. Her eyes pulled a shock look from the brand name.

"Your parents bought you an Aston Martin!" Kelsey yelled everyone in star bucks is looking at us; I covered her mouth with my hand showing her how loud she is.

"No, my Aunt Alice bout me the car" I explained, still in shock Kelsey could not believe it. Staring at her I saw a small twinkle of mischief in her eyes, she removed the keys from my hand to find the car. Grabbing our luggage I followed after her.

"Where is it?" She asked snatching the keys from her hand I took the note out of my bag.

"What's that?" She questioned

"Directions to the car" I answered, placing it in my phone, the GPS navigated us a block over to a high retail store. Then it clicked in my head, we are heading straight to the party which meant shopping on behalf of Alice. Clicking the button to the trunk we placed our things inside and I dragged Kelsey inside.

"What are we doing here" She whispered. We walked inside to be approached by a brunette with a dog bite look on her face.

"Do you have an appointment if not please leave"

"Listen Lady—"

"Cullen and Esquire" I interrupted their little bicker. The lady walked to the cashier table, pulled out a leather book; searching for the name I took the time to admire the place. All white everything with a few expensive clothes on display to give the place some color. I felt I am in limbo in this mindless white cage. When the Rottweiler woman came back her face changed into a money hungry looking girl; seeing new costumers with potential.

"Yes Ms. Cullen and Ms. Esquire we have been expecting you, please make yourself comfortable as we pull your selections out, enjoy our complimentary champagne and imported strawberries" She said in such a professional voice, it made me like her for a split second. Snapping her fingers while heading to the back two assistants followed behind her. Kelsey pulled me aside obviously speechless by what the events that unfolded right in front of her.

"We never made any selections, Ness I have never been here before" Kelsey whispered.

"I know, my aunt Alice did, don't worry she have great taste" I answered.

"I didn't bring enough money to purchase these clothes she selected"

"She covered it Kells, so stop worrying and relax, enjoy some champagne and don't say you don't drink I know you blue bloods do" I sauntered. Kells turned red by my compliment, which shocked me. Kelsey never blush, I always thought she did not have the blood to, which is why I never bothered to have such hunger towards her, but as always she finds a way to prove me wrong. Grabbing a glass of champagne Kelsey made herself comfortable on the love couch as she sat down a group of women with hair product and equipment came in.

_As always, Aunt Alice must take things to the next level. _

They brushed our hair, running their fingers through mine; it felt like a pain in the ass since I have curly hair from my grandfather Charlie. Twenty minutes later they pulled my hair in a sloppy bun with a few tendrils falling down in front of my face and Kelsey's hair in curly ringlets. Once they left we laughed at the awkward situation how they did not even tell us they were going to do our hair. Shaking my head I walked to the table with the champagne and strawberries. Taking a strawberry I sat next to Kelsey on the love couch and indulged myself in its tangy sweetness. The red juices flowed down tainting my skin with its color, I did not realize it has been three solid weeks since my last feed, I would eat human food to settle the feeling but it is not the same as animal blood. Growling with the unsatisfied hunger I wanted to feed, when I turned to Kelsey she suddenly looked appetizing, her Chanel perfume brought out her pheromones making me lick my lips slowly, the way her vein pops out every time she takes a gulp of champagne made me narrow my eyes to look closer to her skin.

Did she know how appetizing she looked? Leaning closer to get a better whiff, she started to smell divine.

"So did you have friends in Forks?"She asked that stopped me I my tracks. The hunger that once blurred my eyes lifted, suddenly forgetting the reason why I looked at Kelsey such a way I leaned back to think on her question.

Did I have friends in Forks? I closed my eyes trying to envision any faces but all I got were colors of personalities everywhere.

One being a vibrant shade of green, it sparked with cheerfulness, it seemed like a child-like color but it had such optimism to it I just smiled. Then that same color turned to a dull yet secretive purple, every second the purple would explode to neon purple then back to its original state but it's been hurt so many times it made me give my heart out.

Then those colors transformed to black. This black is unique different from the rest or any other color. It felt carefree, childish and boy did it have such heat to it; it was hot headed. But this black held such mystery to it, I wished to be in its world and somehow I am but it does not feel like it. It can be friendly, playful, sarcastic and caring. The thoughts about that color made my body shiver with excitement. But why? As I ponder profoundly in thought my hands being to play with the handmade bracelet on my left wrist.

"You know I've been meaning to ask you, you had that bracelet since the first day I met you and never took it off…Why?" Kelsey asked. Blinking at her I looked down at the bracelet on my hand, it made me smile every time I looked at it. Something about it brought such familiarity to me I could not pin point it but I know it means the world to me that much I am certain about it.

"I don't know, probably my family gave it to me" I answered. Kelsey snorted.

"What?"

"Ness, I haven't met your parents and I can tell you they are not the arts and crafts type" Kelsey stated. I thought about it and somewhere in her statement she is right.

If not them, then who?

"Alright Ladies, Your aunt specifically requested these outfits for you", Elizabeth the first women we met announced revealing the clothes. Kelsey dropped the glass, not caring if it stained the white Persian rug. Her eyes were fixated on the dress Alice picked out for her.

"This dress is not even in stores yet" She objected. I smiled knowing Alice probably saw this coming. When I turned to face my dress I felt like somebody electrocuted me. My breath suddenly left me once again, in front of me is a Dolce and Gabbana almond flower print baby doll dress, it have a crew neckline, flared skirt shape that went below the knee. I had to try it on, following the girl with my desired dress I slipped it on. It fit like a glove.

"This is pure silk" I stated more than questioned. The girl smiled, holding my shoes in front of me I wanted to die straight.

"No way, these are sold out"

"Your aunt found a way to get a pair" The assistant remarked. That made me smile; my family would go through great lengths for me no matter what the cost is.

Slipping on the Christian Louboutin palais royal platform pumps I felt like royalty. The multicolored python peep toe slips on felt like a dream. Admiring myself in the full Length mirror I noticed the signature red soles, I absolutely fell in love with this entire outfit.

"You were right, your aunt Alice has—"Kelsey stopped when she looked at me, I saw admiration in her eyes only. No jealousy or low self esteem, Kelsey always said she never had the time to feel jealous for anyone, but herself since she always looked "so damn sexy". Taking the chance I noticed how beautiful she looked in the Saint Laurent sheer knit fitted dress, it have a form fitting silhouette and keyhole in the back. Paired with Giuseppe Zanotti circle cutout ankle boots, which were open toe.

I felt a tad bit jealous how Kelsey can look like a supermodel off the runway without even trying.

"Damn Ness I actually feel a little jealous, did you always have those long legs and amazing figure?" Kelsey spoke out.

"The feeling is mutual" I replied, we both smiled. Giving one last look in the mirror we left the boutique to head inside my brand new 2014 Aston Martin Vanquish.

"I cannot believe your aunt did this for us"

"Neither can I; we better go before she sends a SWAT team to retrieve us" I replied starting the car I pressed my foot on the gas and did not think twice about my speed. Kelsey screamed getting wild; feeling so carefree I blast4ed the radio to play anything. Trap music started to play and we just danced inside the car feeling lured by the beat, influencing me to go even faster.

Three hours and forty six minutes within our drive, the engine started to sound funny. We were located in La push a reservation outside of Forks. I am not too familiar with the place itself but its well known for its beautiful beach and legends.

"Do you think it's busted?" Kelsey asked. I shook my head with that sound the transmitter probably popped.

"No it's the transmitter; we need to find a mechanic to put it back in place I would do it but I'm wearing this dress that's brand new" I stated, I kept driving; my brain took over telling my body what to do. Once we arrived I stopped the car to look around we were near a garage.

"Do you know this place?" Kelsey questioned feeling scared all over again.

"I don't know, my grandfather told me that my brain will take me to familiar places but my memory will not have a full vivid recollection of it" I explained "Maybe I came here a lot to fix my car?"

"But you only had this car for like three hours"

"My real car; my 2008 dodge challenger in all black with a v6 engine I installed myself that purrs like a dream." I explained.

"For a girl with expensive taste and pretends not to bother about it, you sure do know a lot about cars" Kelsey stated, I smiled sheepishly at her.

"Where did you learn so much about cars?" I thought about it, my dad knows about cars but he barely knows a lot about muscle cars so it made me wonder where I learned this. Shaking it off I shrugged. Stepping out of the car heading toward the garage I told Kelsey to wait for me. Getting closer to the door I stopped in my tracks. The wheels started to turn in my head; which meant I do remember coming here, looking at the exterior I do remember coming here a lot but for what?

As I approach closer, I felt that string. That made my heart skip so many beats I stopped counting maybe I am nervous to be in a familiar environment, but there is no way the owner of that string could be here; impossible but I should not speak when I live with a bunch of vampires.

Come on baby; speak to daddy, as I slowly turned the ignition. I needed this car to work by today upon Bella's request. When I looked at it when she dropped it off I realized it is Nessie's Dodge Challenger. That shocked me I have not heard from her in two years since the accident and yet she drops the car we picked out together and spent so much time fixing during her junior year.

Two years has been nothing but a nightmare for me. Losing Ness had taken a toll on me, when I heard she lost her memory guilt pang my heart. I could not help but feel responsible for her memory lost, I should have saved her, when I heard the branch break a little I should have picked her up in my arms and carried her to safety. If I had just given in to my wolf she could have been in New York attending NYU. We could have been happy but I let my pride blinded me and get the best of me; in result I lost the best thing that could have ever happen to me.

Two years, I have not heard from her since, I blame the blood suckers for it. They know they cannot keep anything hidden from me when it involves my mate; but seeing this car again reassured me they wanted me to steer clear away from their precious Renesmee. And as any self respecting man would be, I respected their wishes and stayed away from Nessie I never tried to contact her or even try to locate her, only made her a distant memory.

"Excuse me? Is anyone here?" A soft voice called out; looking out the open window I see a pair of creamy long legs sticking out of a beautiful flower dress. As I moved up I caught the beautiful bronze curly hair that is pinned up in a bun. As my eyes lingered from her hair to her face there is something recognizable about this girl. Her face look like Edward's but her eyes, those beautiful brown orbs look so prosaic. They reminded me of Bella's eyes when she was human, staring into those orbs I tried to pair it with another face. Yet the only time I have ever seen those chocolate brown eyes before is whenever I looked at…

"Nessie?" I called out her brown eyes sparked from hearing her name then switched back to its curiosity state. I could not believe the women she have become, so elated to see her again I rushed to hug her. Picking her up I did not resist the urge to twirl her around not caring about anything but her, it felt so good to have her in my arms again where she truly belong. I finally realized what she meant when she said she is not a little girl anymore, ready to take the final step I put her down, resting my hand on her cheek my body and heartfelt at ease to touch her. Slowly leaning towards her to kiss her expecting her to move towards me too she moved back.

"I'm sorry but do I know you?" She asked "you seem to know me but I cannot say the feelings are mutual". Everything stopped; did she still not remember me? How can this be, she remembered the garage but not me.

"My apologies I was caught up in the moment" I answered, hoping she would believe that though from my actions there is something more. She cocked that lovely head to the side to let a piece of those bronze curls fall to the side covering half of her face giving me half the story through her eyes.

"Could have fooled me, you acted as if you really remembered me…What am I to you?" She asked.

_A best friend, a soul mate, a distant memory._

It killed something inside me how she killed our past to have an unknown future together.

"We were—close but it was strictly platonic you always bring your car in here to have it fixed and to learn about the latest on cars" I explained. She nodded taking it in when she realized the last part her eyes bulged out.

"You!" she screamed. I cocked my eye brow to find out what she knows.

"I learned my love of cars from you; we must have had a deeper connection than what you are letting on" She answered. She had no idea. Nodding feeling happy to realize a piece of her puzzle, she raised her eyebrow up realizing the car I am working on is hers.

"Is that my baby" She asked, I put my hands in my pocket and nodded, stepping aside I gave her a better look of the car. She stepped closer not minding how close she came to me to get a better view of it.

"Is he okay?"

"He?"

"Yes he, I don't recall but I feel like I named that car after a boy" She answered

"That's something stupid to do" I told her. Nessie turned to me giving me a "oh yeah" look. I shrugged my shoulders telling her it's stupid.

"It is not, I'll have you know when I named that car after that person I know it meant everything to me" Nessie confessed then poked me in the shoulder. I smirked; memory or not Nessie is still that playful minx. I held her finger in her hand and shivered from the simple touch of her skin, her shivers did not go unnoticed by me either. Pulling Nessie even closer I felt the need to hold her in my arms again, this time she did not protest instead she allowed me to pull her close. I wanted to tell her everything, what we meant to each other. As I opened my mouth to tell her I could see her eyes searching through mine to figure out this unexplained connection we are feeling.

"Ness, did you find the mechanic—"A voice called out, Nessie pulled out just in time before she saw what almost went on between us. A scrawny blonde girl walked in, Renesmee gave her complete attention. It made me jealous how Ness could just give her attention to a new toy and forget about the old one that was there with her since birth.

"Oh my God Ness don't stand too close to him, he probably have motor oil on him that could ruin your 5,930 dress" She yelled. I looked at Ness's outfit and realize that it is made of pure silk, whistling at the price I crossed my arms against my chest and leaned on her car. Ness blushed by my action which made me smirk to know I still have that affect on her.

"Kelsey it's just a dress" Nessie replied giving her a look to tell her to calm down. The blonde exchanged glances between the two of us and I got the feeling she is one of those snobbish people that never cleaned their ass.

"Exactly Ness a designer dress one that the likes of him cannot afford to repay let alone dry clean" she snapped. Such venom came from her eyes trying to scare me off, but all that did was piss me off, I closed my eyes trying not to let my anger get the best of me, all I wanted to do is snap that twig blonde in half.

I wanted to kill her but all of that went away, I opened my eyes to find Nessie's hand on my shoulder; her touch still affected on me.

"Kelsey you are way out of line, how dare you say something like that" she scold "That is completely unnecessary and you know it". She looked in my eyes searching for a name I can see it in her eyes how she could feel it but is not sure if she could be right.

"Jacob" I told her.

"I knew it" she whispered low enough for herself to hear but I caught on to it.

"Oh yeah and why not?" Kelsey asked pushing for a straight answer, Nessie looked at me stared into my eyes for a very long time before facing the twig.

"Because, he's my friend a friend I have a very strong bond with" Nessie started "I can't explain it but this bond between us is more than you're letting on" she told me. Fiddling with a bracelet on her wrist, my lowered my eyes to get a better view and recognized that is the bracelet I gave her when she was a little girl on Christmas. My heart did back flips to know she kept the promise ring all this time.

"Well you better hope Dexter won't mind this little proclaimed friendship between the two of you" The twig piped in.

Dexter? Who is Dexter? When I looked at Nessie she blushed from the name, obviously he is not a gay best friend.

"Dexter is her soon to be—"

"No one" Nessie cut in. both the twig and I gave her a shocked look. She looked at the twig telling her that she should shut up, before turning to me. I wanted to know what the big deal is, then I noticed the big rock on Nessie's left ring finger, putting my bracelet to shame. I nodded to see how her parents just allowed my mate to get married to someone with money I always knew they never like me but to do something like this is uncalled for.

As I looked more at her, she fixed her hand with that same left hand giving me a better look of the ring, something inside me is destroyed how Renesmee is being married into money. Knowing I could never compete with that I turned my back to them, fixing the car hoping the engine can work and get out of my life for good.

"Is my baby okay?" She asked.

"Just doing a checkup—it hasn't been used in a while so"

"You're trying to tune the engine" she asked. I smiled to myself; she always knew the solution whenever I told her the problems.

"Ness, we are getting late, ask him to fix the bloody car and to speed it up" the twig groan. How could Nessie ever be friends with the likes of her? The Nessie I knew would put girls like that twig in their place. When I turned around I see Ness give her an okay. The old Ness is no longer here, just replaced by this imposter. I need to get them out of my garage immediately, to go back to work on the old memories of Nessie.

"Sorry to cut you from your work, but we have to go to this party and my car is sounding funny", she explained what happened on her way here. Sighing out loud I grabbed my rag to follow her out the door to see the new car the Cullen's bought her. The old Ness would refuse any new car that is not her baby; but here I am facing a brand new off the assembly line Aston Martin. Going to the trunk to view the engine, I fixed the problem and head back to my shop, ignoring the imposter's gratitude. I did not know who is Ness 2.0 is; just simply a newer version possessing the older one's body.

"What the hell was that Kelsey" We go on the road again as that nice guy fixed my car. What is his name again?

"Me? I could ask you the same thing Ness, you stared at him fascinated or in love with him; and what was that when I tried to tell him about Dexter you just shut me down; refusing to tell him that you are engaged" Kelsey replied "Do you even know him Ness". I stayed silent only focusing on the road. What went through my mind when I shut Kelsey down from reveling Dexter to him? I did not want him to know because all I saw is him no one else but that beautiful man.

"He's so poor, did you see the place he fixes his cars—who knows how he gets his money—the likes of him and people like him should be contained or working for people like us" Kelsey nagged, my grip tighten on the steering wheel. The way Kelsey depicted him made my blood boil; my skin crawled from her words there is so much more to him and the money is pointless to him, he is content with what he have and that made me smile. Admire him and the way he lives.

"I mean—"

"My God Kelsey shut up already you made your point!" I snapped. Kelsey stared at me, astonished by my outburst; she turned her head to the window not saying another word to me.

"No need to get sensitive Ness"

"I mean—no—God Kelsey I get it, you don't like him but what did he ever do to you—Verbally putting people down is wrong" I continued. I pulled up to the front of the house to see pastel colored balloons and handmade paper lanterns surrounding the premises.

I could see my family gather on the front steps, excited to see me again. Turning towards Kelsey, she looked so intimidated and self conscious. Grabbing her hand I assured her everything is alright. We got out the car and I held onto her hand making sure she should not let my family make her feel so uncomfortable.

"Renesmee, I am so happy you're safe" My father spoke out. Letting go of Kelsey's hand I ran to hug my father, tears of joy rolled down to be caught on his shirt. He hugged me, which made the entire clan take this cue to hug me back. Breaking from the hug I opened my hand to Kelsey.

"Guys this is my best friend/roommate Kelsey Esquire" I introduced. Kelsey gave them a weak smile, exposing how coerce she felt. Turning my head to my family, seeing the disappointed looks on their faces reminded me of the same look Jacob did in the garage when his eyes spotted Kelsey. It made me wonder what they honestly think of her.

Aunt Rose steeped up, giving Kelsey a dirty look; the same look she gives people when she does not trust them.

"Any friend of Nessie is a friend of mine" Esme stated. Opening my arms to Kelsey, Kelsey stepped inside welcoming the hug.

"So how's Yale" Emmett piped in ignoring Kelsey.

"It's amazing" I answered truthfully.

"Are they treating you well; are you getting bullied?" Dad questioned.

"My God dad, it's college not prison. Where's mom?" I asked searching around to find no one.

"She wanted to get a few last minute decorations" Alice chimed in. Walking up to me and Kelsey admiring her latest creations, rolling my eyes I wanted to go inside and enjoy this small get together.

"Let's go inside before the party dies away" Jasper suggested. Jumping up and down Alice grabbed our hands dragging us inside the house. As always Alice goes over the top when it comes to parties.

"It's modern with a touch of vintage just the way you like it" she piped in my thoughts, feeling so exultant, being home once more. I shrieked from pure excitement, I twirled around from the atmosphere, it always felt good to come back home to be surrounded by the ones you love.

As I think about it, I could not help but feel empty when the words "love one" came to mind. The smile recede from my face, I suddenly did not feel like celebrating my "welcome back" party anymore. Turning to find Kelsey, finally relaxed and not in that stupid shell anymore she started a conversation with Jasper, Alice and Esme. Turning away I walked up the stairs to my room; it faced the backyard and woods easily so when I feel like hunting or clearing my mind I could just jump from the balcony and run into the woods. My room have a built in bathroom and walk in closet. A king sized bed sitting right in the middle of the room diagonal from my laptop and next to my armoire chest. My room is the second biggest one between my family household. They thought I should have a huge room because I am the first grandchild that I should experience the lavish luxuries of it. Code word: we just want an excuse to shower you with gifts. Collapsing on my bed I felt the sudden urge to cry; listening to my body's needs I did.

"Sweetheart why the tears"

"Mom I don't want to talk about it" muffing from my pillow, I heard her laugh at my demise. She climbed on my pillow to rub my back, she knew me too well; rubbing my back always made me feel better but not this time.

"What is the real reason kiddo" she whispered. Turning on my side to face her I sniff my snot back in my nose and rubbed my eyes with my right hand, hiding my left from her.

"Lately I've been feeling so empty" I sniffed.

"How so?" I wanted to lie on my back without my mother seeing my left hand. Twisting the ring off with my fingers, I managed to get the ring off and hide it inside my pillow case.

"Like the other half of me is missing" I answered while moving to lie on my back. Looking at my mother she had a guilty look on her face, it made me wonder what she could possibly feel so guilty about.

"Mom whatever you know please tell me, I am so tired of seeing those looks on your faces and refuse to tell me what's going on when I ask." I commented rubbing my face.

"God I feel so tired" I muttered. She laughed knowing the reason why.

"Honey you should go feed, I know it's been three weeks since your last meal" she told me, turning red I got up to go in my closet. Grabbing a pair of yoga pants and a slouchy sweater, I traded my heels for a pair of Nike's free 5.0 running shoes.

"I'll be back soon; I promise and make sure Aunt Rose don't try to kill Kelsey" I told her before jumping out of the window. I started to run into the woods, stretching my legs since it's been a long time since I fully ran into the woods. I screamed and shout that feeling of freedom again. Taking a deep breath I smelled deer's all over and my stomach growled with anticipation. Spotting a strong Deer not too far from me, I crotch low on the ground stalking my prey, when it comes to food I am a mountain lion. Taking a deep breath, I sprinted right too it getting a small chase before executing my meal. I grabbed the deer, hearing it cry out I bit into its vein and started to drink until I got my fill. Searching for one more to sedate my hunger from thirteen weeks I found another one bigger than the one I ate. Stalking the deer around, it heard my movement and started to run away. Smiling with satisfaction I pounce on that deer cracking its neck and drinking my sweet reward. Finishing up I stretched a bit and head home, but something inside me prevented me from moving. Instead I followed the course my brain led me to, and when I reached my destination it was the same place I was earlier.

Hearing the sound of tools being bang and touched with medal I narrowed my eyes to find the owner of the sound. Only to see Jacob working on my car, in the middle of the night but why, but what got my attention was how he was working shirtless. Getting a glimpse of his body, my mouth watered from the sight of his body, God must have taken his sweet precious time working on him because Jacob is a beautiful sight to see. Inching closer to get a better look I lost footing and tumbled down the hill only to land on my butt right in front of Jacob. He raised his eyebrows at me wondering why I am here on my butt in front of him at this hour.

"Hey stranger" He stated. My stomach twisted in knots, lost of words I just smiled trying to get up, a hand appeared right before me. Taking it, Jacob pulled me up and close to him. Our eyes met speaking in this connection, I wanted to hold him, talk to him without a reason why.

"Uh thank you" I muttered smiling sheepishly at him. I turned my body away from him feeling so embarrassed that I acted like an idiot right in front of him.

"Mind telling me why you're here?" He asked. Right, why am I here searching for a reason I noticed my car a light bulb went off.

"Wanted to check the condition of my car" I told him.

"What about that car you pulled up in"

"I hate that car, my aunt bought it for me and they know how much I hate new cars that's not my baby" I answered. He smiled from my answer, leaning against my car I decided to join him by leaning right next to him and cross my arms against my chest.

"You don't seem like the type to—"

"Appreciate old fashion things, I get it a lot, I just like what I have I don't want anything new" I answered.

"So whose Dexter?" he asked, the way he asked so smoothly like we are friends made me smile. But grew empty when he asked about Dexter all I wanted to do for some reason is talk to him about everything and anything rather than Dexter. Jacob Looked at me, sensing what is on my mind and stared into my eyes, I couldn't help but feel like he knew me the real me; but wanted to keep those secrets to himself. Which furiated me how my family would keep secrets for me, tears poured down my eyes as I looked deeper into his eyes. I wanted to tell Jacob everything that is on my mind right now and I did not know why.

"I know he's your fiancé Nessie, I saw the ring" He whispered, seeing his eyes growing dull I could feel the pain in his eyes when he said it. That is not how I wanted things to be, I could not help but feel like I betrayed him.

"I'm sorry" I whispered back. He pulled me into his arms hugging me, I never gotten this affection from Dexter before and it felt nice to be held this way. It's like Jacob knew what I felt and how I felt it, he knew how to call me. He knew so much about me and yet I never met him in my life or maybe I did. It's like I can trust Jacob with all the secrets buried inside my heart than Dexter with Jacob I did not feel so empty. And it's wrong to feel that way. Breaking from his hold, I could not feel that way when I am to be the wife of another man.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to" Jacob stated, shaking my head I gave him a weak smile it is not his fault that he wanted to comfort me.

"It's fine, I actually needed that but I can't; you're right I am getting married to Dexter I have to tell my family tomorrow when Dexter arrives" I explained I kept babbling nonsense until I sighed in frustration. I wanted to cry feeling so stupid that I could do this pretend to be something I am not.

"Breath Nessie, you always take on things and spread yourself out so thin; why do you always think of others before yourself" He asked, it sounded like he is asking himself that question rather than myself.

"How come you know so much about me but I don't know anything about you?" I asked. He looked at me then looked elsewhere but me. Touching his face, I made him look at me; I don't know why I did that but something inside me told me I hated how he would look away from me before he gives an answer.

"You're parents are not too fond of our relationship; so I guess they never told you about me when you lost your memory" He answered. Anger boiled inside me, how they could do that. They should have never interfered with my personal life whether it is good or bad, it is my life and not theirs.

"Relax Nessie; I can see those wheels turning inside your head. It's not their fault really they are just trying to protect you. Something I should have done a long time ago but never did" he whispered lowly. He looked at me, and then my hair I guess it is still in that sloppy bun; Jacob took out the pins allowing my hair to flow down my face making me feel better.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"Anytime" he smiled at me, we talked a bit letting time fly by us, but when I looked at my watch I knew I am way past late. The party is dead by now and everyone went home and Kelsey is probably sleeping but I did not care. Jacob made me feel relaxed and more important than some dumb party.

"I should probably go, but can we hang out sometime?" I asked. Jacob looked at the car then me and nodded. Smiling I gave him my number and told him to text me when he gets a chance. Walking back to the woods I wanted to be out of eyesight before I bolt back home. Arriving to my house I decided to use the front door not sure if Kelsey is in my room or not. Entering I notice the house is completely now, since my family does not sleep at all; they had to pretend to because Kelsey is here and would be suspicious. Heading to my room I wanted to take a quick shower before heading to bed, once I finished cleaning myself I noticed my phone buzzing. Checking it I gotten a text message from Dexter who wanted to see if I made it home safely, I text him that I did, and that I couldn't wait to see him. Checking my phone again I noticed I got a message from Jacob not too long ago, which put a smile on my face when I read it.

_From Jake:_

_Just wanted to say Hello, hope you have sweet dreams_

My smile grew even wider if possible, texting him a ditto back I plugged my phone and went to bed. Feeling so happy about today; it is like it was meant to happen.

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Well that's it, I hope you enjoyed it.

Read Review because it makes the world go round.

Enjoy and thank you for being so patient with me

Well off I go.

ChasingRiven


	4. Better Together

A/N: Hey guys sorry for the late reply, I've been busy and now I am finally free. So I shall be dedicating half of my summer time writing and finishing this fan-fiction. So I hope you enjoy and give me your opinions. Read and Review and spread the word.

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Chapter Three:

Better Together

The sun light peaks through my window intruding my room with its dazzling rays, it reminds me of my family when the sun hits their skin. The rays are searching for an audience, rolling over towards the dark more hiding from the light I snuggled with my pillow more only to feel a hard object poking at me. Fluffing my pillow to get rid of that mysterious lump poking at me, I wanted to be more comfortable, only to make it worse. I brought the object out more rather than get rid of it; it poked right in my ear. Placing my hand inside the pillow case to find the mystery object, my phone buzzed distracting me.

Instantly forgetting why my hand is in my pillow case, I immediately grabbed my phone to find a text message from Dexter, saying he boarded the plane and I shall see him in nine hours and ten minutes from now. Smiling at the thought to see Dexter soon, that way I can tell my family the news I needed to kill time. Jumping in the bathroom for a quick shower I decided I wanted to go to the beach because, it's a nice day outside and it would be a shame to waste it in this big house doing nothing. Rummaging through old bikini's I picked out a cute black and white mesh bikini and patching bottoms. Draping my huge white sweater cover up on, it was light but goes down to my knees and visible enough to see my swimsuit. I slipped on my flip-flops and headed to the guest room to drag Kelsey with me, only to find a note on my door that said she went to go decorating shopping for the party tomorrow with Alice, Esme, Rose, and my mother since Dexter's flight might be late today.

'Well there goes my plans' I thought. Sitting the couch I searched through my contacts to find someone who I know that will go to the beach with me or just hang out. Scrolling through my phone, I stopped at a number and smile. Clicking on the name, I sent a quick text and left a note telling my folks I will be late but back to pick up Dexter from the airport. Grabbing my stuff I would need for the day, I ran out the house and to the woods as fast as I can. Arriving to La Push, in five minutes I stopped at Jacob's house and knocked on his door.

Waiting for him to answer, I looked at the door something familiar happened here but I cannot remember what. Something told me there was a key in the mailbox but the door opened just before I could search for the key. A man in a wheelchair came to view; he looked just like Jacob so I figured that must be his father. When our eyes met a quick flash of memories flashed through my mind. Memories I have never seen before, but I know I have experienced went through me like a wave. They moved so fast like driving fast on the road and everything is in fast motion, you cannot really see it but you know what it is, the motion of the memories made me dizzy I could barely stand on my two feet.

"Hello Nessie, it's been awhile" The man answered, I looked at him having no idea who he is to me, but then one memory moved in slow motion making it easier for me to see and comprehend when I analyzed it I fainted.

"Since you refused to take me to my prom, you my dear owe me a dance" Nessie demanded clicking a button to her car playing the mix tape I made for her. I held out her hands waiting for me to take her and dance with her.

"Nessie, I don't dance" I answered

"Liar, you danced with my mom at her wedding" She replied.

"That's different"

"How, How is one simple dance with me different from dancing with my mother?" she questioned. Thinking about it I saw her point, also I could not find a solid reason to argue. Looking defeated Nessie walked into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck. Taking the lead as I naturally would, Ness made no complaints and just followed. We moved to the music my hands on her waist, stayed in place each time she would trip on a rock or branch.

"Still clumsy as ever" I whispered Nessie hid her face from me with her hair. It made me wonder what went through that mind of hers; I just want to know what always goes through her mind when she is with me. If she could let me inside her world I could know what she truly sees me to be through her very two chocolate brown eyes. Lifting her head to see those beautiful chocolate brown, I noticed the splash of crimson red sprawled across her soft cheeks. Staring into her eyes, I started to lean in, Nessie looked shocked at first but did the same only to trip over another branch; preparing to catch her as she would fall forward she falls back. The entire scene changes, I am suddenly in a tree watching Nessie fall of the tree backwards; I try to catch her but I am too late her skull has already cracked against the rock. I immediately wake up.

It's been a solid year I have had this dream continuously. Rolling out of bed, I try to snap the thoughts out of my mind; checking the time I see a text from Nessie: The girl who can give me nightmares and pleasure at the same time. Looking at the message, she said she is going to come over in ten minutes; that was forty minutes ago.

"What happen?" Leah asked, I hear my father and Seth telling her to shut up in hush tones before she wakes me up; but for what.

Walking out the door I see Seth, Leah, and my father all huddled around the couch. Moving closer I could see a slightly pale hand, walking towards the couch I could see that they were hovering over…

"What did you do to Nessie?" I demanded, pushing Leah and Seth back giving Nessie come air to breathe. She did not need too many people around her and breathing in all her air.

"Jacob she came, when she saw me she looked as if she have seen a ghost and faints" My father explained, I grabbed the sports paper from the coffee table and used it to fan her; removing pieces of her hair away from her face I know how much she hates her hair in her face.

"Have she remembered you Jacob?" Seth asked, being careful not to push any boundaries than she already had. I did not answer my sole focus is to have Ness wake up.

"Unbelievable" Leah shouts, guess she figure it out on her own. I honestly do not know why she stays around. I guess Nessie sees her as a sister than just a friend. And Leah feels the same way which is why she is always so protective around her.

"She doesn't remember you at all, if she can't remember you what makes you think she will remember us?" Leah barked ignoring her I only let my attention to only be on Ness. I have so much to deal with right now I do not want to put our current situation on the top of the list.

"Jacob, how can you just sit there when she does not remember you; does she even know she's your mate?" Leah questioned. I was getting angry. I hate how Leah could just find the bad in everything; it pissed me off how she has to make everyone miserable just because she is miserable.

"Jacob!"

"Back off" I growled. Without meaning to I phased right in the living room. I became so angry I turned into a wolf, blocking anyone to come in Nessie's path. My sole purpose is to guard Ness from harm. Yet no one wants to harm her, so why am I acting this way; is it because I failed to protect her from before so I am trying to make it up now. I am just angry about all these questions about Ness and I, how I could not protect her, how she cannot remember me and her other side of her family and everything that led up to it. It just pissed me off.

"Jacob?" I growled at Leah but her lips never moved, her eyes looked so shocked, and the voice that called me is a female voice and the only other female is suppose to be knocked out. A sudden pause fell into the room, I could not face her, and she probably does not even think this is happening. Maybe she believes this a dream that vampires and werewolves does even exist. Turning around I could see her face, she looked scared and shocked. Moving closer to her she backed away from me.

"There is a simple explanation for this" My father cut in. Nessie looked frantic, she looked around hoping to find someone who would understand her predicament but everyone looked at her hoping she would understand.

"How is this—"She stopped herself, looking deep into my eyes, suddenly her panic feeling went away? I knew she was shocked beyond belief; she brought her hand to touch me but stopped herself. She got up making sure she does not touch me, she walked out the door and ran away. She gave all of us a brief look and ran out the door. Walking to my room I quickly phased back to my humanoid self, got dressed and tried to find Nessie. Leah blocked my path trying to apologize for what just happened; I pushed her away from my sight I had to find Nessie. Grabbing her bag and keys for her car I left everyone inside and jumped into her car to find Nessie. I knew she would be at the beach, because it is the second place she would go to when she does not want to be in the forest. She likes going to the beach because she wants to hear the ocean waves roll in calming her thoughts.

Parking on the side, I spotted Nessie sitting in the sand staring at the ocean waiting for the answer to come to her; slowly approaching her I dropped her back on her left side so I would sit on her right. Quickly glancing at her right side to see who is next to her, she looked at me then back at the ocean waves. She did not seem too alarm, she looked calm again as if nothing just happened the past five minutes ago.

"How did you know I would be here?" She asked.

"You always come here when you want to clear your head, and when you do not want to bother with the forest" I answered. She ducked her head in her knees hiding away from the world.

"What are you to me Jake?" a soft voice whispered. I wish I can tell her but I could not I knew her family did not want her to know about me because they feel I am a danger to her. She lifts her head to look at the sun hitting the ocean making the water look like diamonds.  
"Ness, if you give me time to explain—"

"Jacob my family and I are vampires" She said, not breaking away from the oceanic view. Guessing she is testing me I remained unmoved by her answer and looked at the ocean with her. Five minutes of sitting on the damn sand, I turned to Ness who is smiling. She placed her hand on mind, projecting her thoughts to me; it was the time she was thirteen and asked me to phase right in front of her. I wondered why she asked me, then I realized she wanted me to phase right in front of her. Looking around I knew no one would be around here so I moved her to a more secluded spot on the beach where no one will find us. Staring into her eyes I phased right in front of her, in form of a wolf right before her I waited for her to freak out and run away. Instead she moved closer to me to touch me, feeling those soft hands cascade through my fur she no longer seemed frighten, even though the link between us is weak I knew she seemed calm around me. The way her fingers felt made me think of the time when I first did this in front of her, it was a silly request at first, thinking she would run away scared of a big old wolf like me but she hugged me around my neck like a teddy bear. The hug filled with love and security she ran her small fingers down my fur not scared but of pure fascination, suddenly I felt a bond between us form again.

"Beautiful" She whispered, I smiled knowing she liked me. She hugged me while running her fingers through my fur, and then I saw her thoughts again, asking me if I would like to change back. I knew I did not want to but I had to because I could not risk another person seeing me like this. Nodding, I moved back to hide behind the tree to change.

"Do you have clothes?" She asked me.

"It's in the trunk of your car" I told her, I heard footsteps moving away from me I guess she went to go get my clothes. Waiting naked for her I thought back on what just happened. She did not seem frighten by me so I know I have a chance to win her back.

"Jake?" I heard her question; I walked out to face her. When I looked at her she suddenly grew red and turned around handing me her clothes behind her.

"Um—I brought your clothes" She answered, I looked down realizing I am still naked. Blushing at the thought that she basically saw me naked I grabbed my clothes from her hand and got dressed. Walking out I had the sudden feeling to have fun so I grabbed her running back to the original spot we were and twirled her around. Ignoring her giggles and laughter and protest I took her cover up off threw it next to her back and dragged her to the water.

"No" She giggled; she tightens her grip on my arms refusing me to throw her in the water. I laughed placing her down she relaxed her grip, waiting for her to leave my arms Nessie just stayed there leaning into my shoulder enjoying the view. I knew she is with another and that this is wrong so I released myself from her and moved to sit down in the sand.

"I don't feel like thinking, just swimming" She called out, before jumping into the water, fascinated by her choice of words, pushing the fact she just saw my wolf form and then telling me her family are vampires like it is a normal thing and also that small embrace we shared. This Nessie is quite the head scratcher.

"Are you coming in or not" She called out, I knew if I join her then that would be asking for trouble, something I do not want to deal with.

"I'll go with or not" I shouted, she smiled and floated on top of the water.

"Why did you tell me your family is vampires?" I asked. She stayed silent looking up in the sky, floating in the water enjoying the cool water on her skin. I guess she did not want to think today at all.

"I don't know, something inside me just scream trust him when I'm around you besides it's not a shocker that there are wolves here I mean for Christ sakes Jake my family and I are vampires" she answered. I smiled from her answer, I wanted to correct her and tell her she's half vampire half human but I did not want to ruin this moment between us.

"And you always knew that didn't you" She answered, but it sounded more like a statement.

"Yeah" I answered, at least the easy part is done with, now all I have to do is tell her that—

"Who are the two that was with your father?" she asked, still lying on the sea bed. I can only admire how calm she is right now, envy churned through me how easy she can be free with the ocean oblivious to the truth, while I am trapped in the sand sinking with the truth weighing me down like a brick. Sinking with the secret I have yet to tell her.

"Jake?", Nessie waved her hand in front of me catching my attention, I guess I spaced out too long that make her check on me, I turned to face her when her swimsuit caught my eye. The way it clung to her body after coming from the water made my body shiver. I wanted to hold her wet body to mine and warm her up, seeing her shiver I took this as my chance. But she grabbed a towel to wrap around her body.

"Huh, I'm sorry—what was your question?" I asked, she laughed. She pulled her sweater from the ground to put it back on and grabbed her bag as well.

"Come on grandpa, let's go eat I'm starving" She said

"You want to go hunt?" I suggested, she shook her head obviously not in the mood for blood.

"I want a burger" she claimed, acting like a kid pouting her lips and crossing her hands across her chest. She tilted her head for her wet curly hair to cover her face. Walking up to her I moved a piece of her hair off of her face, earning a smile on her behalf.

"Thank you" She whispered. Nodding I walked over to her car, turning around I could see her still in the same spot I left her.

"I know this great diner that has these burgers to die for" I told her. Nessie smiled sheepishly before running in a sloppy cute way to the car. Arriving to the car she stood in shock.

"You fixed baby?" She exclaimed, opening the passenger side for her she sat inside admiring my work. Feeling appreciated I took my place beside her in the driver side. Starting the car, I managed to make "baby" purr like a dream.

"My God Jake you're a mechanical genius" She continued, she even tuned the radio and it played clear as day.

"Nessie the engine just needed tuning" I informed her, she hushed me continuing to admire the car. Laughing at her small humor I revved the car out the lot in one swift motion and headed to town at the local diner. Parking the car, we both got out and headed inside. The Diner is like any old diner filled with familiars and gossipers while the smell of home-made food filling the room; it is Nessie's and I favorite place to go when she does not want to go hunting and is in the mood for a good old fashion burger.

"My,My,My I see you too kissed and made up" Jasmine announced, she is the waitress here that hates Nessie's guts for no apparent reason. Nessie looked behind her to see who Jasmine is talking about, when she realized there is no one she gave Jasmine a funny look.

"I just met him yesterday, I barely know him, besides I already have a boyfriend" Nessie snapped. My stomach dropped from her answer but I took that as a cue to leave. Walking outside, behind Nessie we walked back in the car. The car ride became silent, she had her arms folded across her chest, huffing out loud.

"The nerve of people" She growled. She grabbed her phone to search through it. I could see how mad Jasmine made her, she refused to look my way but I could not help but smile at the pouty little Ness sitting next to me. She has this adorable state to every mood she is in, which makes it hard to take her seriously.

"How about lunch at my place?" I suggested. She looked at me putting her phone down.

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me, it will just be you and I; no rude waitresses or irritating questions" I told her.

"Alright your place it is" she smiled facing the window, but I could tell she is blushing again.

Arriving to my place, I parked the car next to the garage. Leading Nessie inside the house I knew everyone had gone out to do whatever they wanted to do.

"Where's your father?" She asked.

"Probably out to hang out with your grandfather" I told her heading to the fridge, I grabbed all the components for a burger.

"You still never answered my question" she stated, sitting on the chair across from me. Rolling up my sleeves I started to prepare the burger toppings checking the fridge to see if I could make a salad in case she changes her mind.

"What question was that?" I asked through the fridge.

"Who was the guy and girl, they felt so familiar to me—did I attend high school with them? Did I use to date the guy?" she asked "or the girl?"

I almost laughed at her questions, Nessie always saw Seth as a brother and Leah as a sister when she is not with me she is always with either of them. It's impossible to think Nessie would date the Clearwater's they are nothing alike nor do they see each other that way.

"Seth and Leah Clearwater are your friends, so no you never dated neither of them; you never saw them that way" I answered.

"I could have" she pointed out.

"But you did not"

"Well since you know more about me than me tell me, secret diary who did I date?" she questioned. I could tell through her tone she was more than excited to learn more of her past. The fear of disappointing her crushed me, I could not tell her the truth then everything her parents worked for will be ruin but at the same time I could not lie to her.

"You use to date Seth actually, but it would be in secret because your family never approved of the relationship" I lied. Turning to look at her face, she looked puzzled by the small confession.

"You're lying, I never dated Seth. I always thought it would be you"

"We are more like brother and sister—just friends" I reassured her, each lie that left my mouth made me feel disgusted with myself.

"Why would you lie to me like that?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.

"I didn't want to tell you that you never truly dated anyone because no one seemed good enough for you" I told her "I didn't want to hurt you". Shaking the possibilities, Nessie got up rolling her sleeves to help me.

"At this point I should have ordered take out, since you move this slow" she joked, feeling the need to settle the score I flicked some water at her face. Giving me a shocked look Nessie relaxed her face and walked over to the sink.

"Two can play that game" she stated, flicking some water back at me. Soon after we forgot about being hungry and broke out into a full on water fight.

"Get back here and take this water like the wolf man you are" Nessie ordered, chuckling at her joke, I grabbed a spoon put some water in it and flicked it right on her forehead.

"Oh no you don't" she filled a cup with water, taking this as my chance, I took the hose right from the sink and sprayed her, she turned her body towards me and poured water on herself and me as well. The house filled with laughter we completely lost track of the time and people inside.

"Well I see, you two wasted no time to have some fun with each other" Leah cut in. Everything stopped, Nessie looked as if she was caught red-handed.

"Back off, okay Leah" Seth called out the two started bickering, I looked at Nessie to see if she is okay, she avoided eye contact with me. Grabbing her phone she looked through it to distract herself from everyone including myself.

"Guys!" I yelled, automatically Leah and Seth shuts up to look at me.

"What are you two even doing here?"

"We wanted to help you find Nessie, we searched everywhere but when we did not find you we decided to come here" Seth explained. Groaning from frustration, I raked my fingers through my hair. I could not believe they decided to ruin this day by looking for us.

"Why in the world did you think we wanted to be looked for?" I asked

"Look it's obvious you two wanted to be alone again, but there is a lot of catching up that needs to be done; something you failed to do ever since you had the chance" Leah answered.

"Crap" Nessie cut in, she grabbed her stuff and headed out the door without looking our way. Running after her, I caught her hand and spun her around.

"Don't listen to what those two said" I told her hoping she would stay, I did not want to lose her again and have to wait for the next time I'll see her again. Nothing is like the same how I knew the very next day she would be here when the sun rises; because every second that she is away from me I felt empty and I knew she used to feel the same way too; but now everything is different.

"No, it's not that" she answered. Relief flooded me knowing that she did not feel overwhelm by the stupidity of Leah and Seth barking and making everything weird.

"Then why are you leaving", curiosity got the best of me I needed to know why she is leaving without an explanation.

"Dexter's flight is about to arrive soon and I am not there to pick him up" she explained. My blood boils to see how worried she is to get her boyfriend. But I also realized she is still the same old Ness, caring for others well being rather than her own. What also hit me is she does not know our past so I have no right to get angry; she is with someone else and I cannot jeopardize that for her not even for my own selfish needs.

"I'll drive you" I offered, she broke out of her thoughts, giving me a rather shocked look.

"Really, are you sure? I don't want to be a burden" she stated. Waving my hand showing her that this incredibly pointless and absurd stupid jerk dating Ness is no burden for me to pick up. But when a huge smile broke out on her face, I knew it meant the world to her. Her eyes shone brightly and she could not stop smiling; it pained me how she would smile for that idiot it made me wonder if he is grateful to be in such graces in a girl like Nessie.

"Let's go" she jerked her head to her car and off we went.

-o-

"Tell me, what's this Dexter like?" I asked, since it's a three hour drive might as well make the most of it with her to know what is so special about this dude. Getting a quick glimpse of her she is red from head to toe.

'Wow I guess it's real serious between those two' I thought.

"Dexter is a blue blood, coming from a long line of prestigious family members that attended Yale or oxford and became powerful people, he wants to be a politician after college like every male in his family and all the females are either duchess or heiress" she explained.

"Wow sounds like he's a catch" I stated, Ness rolled her eyes when she caught on the sarcasm.

"Well if you must know he stood by my side when I lost my memory, he's my best friend and soon to be husband" she stated, something in her voice made me second guess that statement. She is not only trying to convince me that she loves him but she is also trying to convince herself that this Dexter guy is the one for her too. And somehow, she really made herself believe it. Looking away from me she stared out in the window just watching the trees move in fast motion.

"Were you ever in love?" she asked.

"Yes", she turned to me looking at me waiting for me to continue.

"I was in love once with one but she did not feel the same; and then I fell in love again but it was too late"

"What do you mean"

"I could not save her in time, and I lost her"

"Did she die?"

"Not exactly, what happened between us died and she found something in another man" I told her " And every time I see her I am reminded of my mistake that I did not protect her in time before she fell—for another man." I felt her hand on top of mine trying to calm me but I knew she felt more sorry for me than she did for self. The entire ride we remain silent with her hand on top of mine and me driving her to her boyfriend.

Reaching to the airport I dropped her off at the airport and drove away upon her request because it is too soon for me to meet Dexter her boyfriend. I knew it is too soon to take Nessie from him after everything she has been through but I could not help but think about what happened between us today; how perfect we looked together and how better we are together. But facing the truth I ruined that chance between us two years ago and I need to let her go to live but seeing the look in her eyes; she is not living her life at all, not the way she truly wanted to live it.

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Tell me what you think?

Tell me in your reviews.

Well off i go...

ChashingRiven.


	5. Black Keys

A/N: It's been awhile since I last written something for you guys and for that I wish to apologize on my behalf. I have been wrapped around this new thing it's called: People have no lives so they try and steal your own. Which if you ask me is nothing but mean so here is what I did I handwritten the story but I could not find a computer to type this but it's find I managed to get my hands on a computer so I hope you enjoy, and please review give me your opinions through your comments.

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Chapter Four:

Black Keys

After Jacob dropped me off in front to the airport, I did not bother waving or looking at him, I cannot believe what just happened between us. Something like that should never happen; not the whole show and tell story we both shared with each other. Just the fact that when our hands touched, a warm tickle whispered through my bones it made rethink everything especially with Dexter. The fact we held each other, the intimacy I never felt so alive it's like standing outside during a warm summer rain, looking at the distant mountains; It's easiest for me to feel alive when I'm surrounded by many things, from nature to people to almost anything that touches my soul, or gives me an exhilarated feeling that I can remember. I'm sure it's a little different for everyone, whatever makes them feel alive. It's something you can't easily define, it's something you just know, born with from the beginning of time and grew up with. Being alive means that you're here; I'm here. It means that I should take the time to smell the roses, appreciate what they have, be the best life could ever permit me even if that means being immortal for a while, and love one another. That is what being alive means to me when I touched Jacob for the first time or any other time: I just feel like I am being awoken for the first time after being dead for so long. Dexter and I have been together for two whole years and now we will be married to each other I do not know when but it will be soon once I tell my family first; which will be today.

Dexter is a sweet human being, he listens to me when I need someone to talk to, he is always the shoulder to cry on whenever I watch "Gone with the wind" or read then watch _"The notebook". _Dexter has been there for me during the good and bad when my family were being difficult and doing their sneaky behavior I hate so much; he is even patient with me when I start to become difficult. Dexter is a man with dreams and goals and ambitions; so why in the hell am I so unhappy with him then. Dexter is the poster child of every woman in the world possibly the entire planet's dream guy. And he is madly in love with me yet I am miserable around him, I don't hitch my breath when he holds my hand or melt when his eyes intently stares me down. When he kisses me I pray for it to be over because I do not want to hurt his feelings being disgusted by the slightly touch of him. It is like my heart and body rejects him immediately when he comes around but my mind is screaming I will definitely not find anyone else so be grateful to have someone like Dexter. And I am trying, the difficulty of forcing myself to tolerate him is not easy but I am trying my hardest; yet when I replay today's events with Jacob I feel so relaxed, elated, and not forced to feel something that is not there, with Jacob it comes so naturally. So how come it's easy for me to feel that with Jacob but around Dexter it is like a root canal almost too painful to be with him.

"Flight 42 has boarded" The flight attendant announced, making way to the gates I wanted to be the first one Dexter sees when he is here. I felt a small piece of excitement to know that Dexter will be here to be with me. Although I felt forced to be with Dexter one thing that felt naturally around him is how easily I could tell him about my day or my feelings; he is like my personal diary I could never keep anything from no matter how hard I tried. Snapping out of those school girl thoughts I searched through the crowd for my fiancé.

No luck in finding him, I stood on top of the chairs to locate that British speaking carrot top. I kept looking but still no luck to find that English man of mine. Getting down I did not want any trouble with the law, as my foot touched the ground a pair of arms pulled me to the side. Feeling tense, I knew I should attack immediately to rip the stranger's head off for trying to kidnap me, but the way my heart beat from the touch it started to beat extremely fast I could not breathe nor could I stand the touch I knew exactly who the stranger is.

"Dexter!" I yelled wrapping my arms around him, I knew deep down somewhere I am happy to see him no matter how disappointed my heart is feeling. Holding him close to me it felt nice to have someone from Yale near me; Kelsey is being no help because she grew attached to my family more than I ever would be. Holding his hand I led my fiancé outside so the noise would be no distraction between us when we share how much we missed each other.

"Babe there is so much I have to tell you; it was a crazy two days when Kelsey and I landed"

"Like why you're in a bathing suit?" Dexter questioned. I stopped to look at my apparel

_Crap_

"I went to the beach with Kelsey" I lied, I wanted to die right on the spot for letting this fib escape between my lips and into Dexter's poor innocent ears; he did not deserve this from me but I could not be so honest with him about the last two day's especially when they involve Jacob: someone I am still trying to figure out.

"You could have went home to change" He answered

"Yeah—no I know but I forgot about the time so I just took a cab so I could make it to see you" I smiled turning towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck bringing his head close to mine. Pushing my lips to his we shared a small quick kiss and it felt different from all the other kisses we had shared with each other. It held a small spark in it, something I never felt with Dexter before. Intrigued by such electric I went in for another kiss hoping I could feel the spark again Dexter did not complain by my sudden display of affection neither did I as I went in for the second kiss I felt that same spark but with more intensity. I never knew Kissing Dexter would feel this great before. Wanting to explore more into this new found discover Dexter broke away from my torment to kiss my forehead, grabbing his hand I gave him a small sheepish smile and started to lead him outside.

"I can't wait to tell my family about our engagement tonight; it's been a wild two days keeping this secret" I told him, a small pipe of excitement flowed through me when I said it; I hated keeping secrets from my family it always made me feel sick to lie to them by telling them about this engagement a weight would be removed from my chest and I will feel liberated. Dexter pulled back after my small confession, I turned around to see what is going on he has never pulled away from me ever this is the first time he has ever did this to me.

"I—Remember when I said I have a few business meetings in California?"

"Yeah I remember but you promised me that today you would not go to any because you wanted to meet my family, Dexter you know how much this means to me"

"I know Nessie but I have this meeting in California and I have to catch my connecting flight in an hour; I only managed to delay the meeting for today because I wanted to see you" He answered.

"Dexter, you know how much this means to me you finally meeting my family and showing them another step into our relationship which you are blowing off for a stupid meeting" I argued, my heart sank from Dexter's sudden meeting that he could not cancel to be with me and my family.

"I am so sorry Nessie, but I delayed this meeting enough my family wants me to be hands on with the politics and I don't know when I will get another chance if I miss this"

"You will not get another chance with my family if you delay them for some meeting; Dexter please don't let me do this alone; don't let me tell my mother and father I am engaged alone with no one on my side" I pleaded. Dexter sighed debating whether or not he should miss this meeting but our engagement is nothing to debate on this is a onetime thing and he is blowing it for a stupid meeting.

"I can't Ness I am sorry but Kelsey is on board and—"

"Kelsey? She's on the same flight—with you?"

"Ness, it's not what you think"

"Oh it's exactly what I think my fiancé and best friend are going to a business meeting and did not have the decency to tell me that they will be leaving me by myself for three whole days", Dexter looked ashamed knowing how it sounded feeling so caught he started to look elsewhere and rubbed his arm.

"You know what—forget it. I'll see you guys for OUR engagement party since it's no longer me and you Dexter"

"Don't act like that"

"Act like what? Dexter I did not know being in a relationship with you I would be in a relationship with my best friend who happens to be your ex girlfriend so I have every right to feel this way" I explained "Now if you will excuse me I have to go tell my family to push the party to another three days because my fiancé is running off to a business meeting that means to world to him than his own girlfriend soon to be wife with her best friend" I turned around heading to the exit when Dexter held my hand down, I snatched it away looking at him with such disgust and animosity my heart would illustrate to him Dexter looked down in humiliation.

"Ness-"

"Have a nice flight" I told him looking over my shoulder. Leaving that airport I wanted nothing to do with both Dexter and Kelsey the fact that they kept this away from me is unforgivable. Hailing a cab I needed to go back home to either cry on my pillow or break something and either option looked just as good right now.

"Where to mam?" The cab driver asked.

Looking I realized I did not have my bag which contained all my things; I left that in my car which is currently in possession of Jacob Black. Great, as if this day could not get any worse.

Hearing a small crack of thunder, I realized I spoke way too soon on my behalf. Growling at my sudden bad luck I wanted to break everything on sight; First my fiancé is going to California with my best friend second my fiancé and best friend were lovers at a previous time in their lives third I forget my bag so I have no ride home and last but not least it's raining oh and how can I forget that I am in a bathing suit so I am practically screwed by this point on and I cannot just run home because if I do someone would probably see me so I have two options: one risk it and deal with the idiot later or two wait for the rain to die out which is not going to happen anytime soon since I live in a rainy state. I could call someone from home but I do not feel like explaining as to why I got to this point so I will just wait until the rain dies out then I'll go into the woods and run my little ass home.

Finding shelter under some café hut I ringed the water from my hair, I held myself because even as part vampire I am still human which means I can be affect by the crazy weather of Seattle, Washington. Looking around I could see the cars pass by staring me down probably wondering how I got into this predicament all I did was look away knowing I am wondering the same thing. Watching some cars pass through I noticed a yellow Ferrari stopped in front of me, waiting for the owner to roll their windows down I focused my eyes to look even further to see none other than Alice.

"Nessie get inside before you catch your death" she yelled. Rolling my eyes figuring that is definitely the understatement of the year I ran into the rain and into her car. She cranked up the heat on my behalf because my body started to shiver.

"How did you know I would be here?" I asked, while hovering my hands over the heater.

"I just saw you standing here in the rain; so I figured you'd be in some type of predicament" Alice answered. Feeling so grateful to have an aunt that can have visions I tried to warm myself up I needed every second of this heat and silence before I am to be bombarded with questions. Sensing my need of silence, Alice started to drive with no questions added into the mix; one thing about having a vampire family especially one that can see the future is the face she has already seen this scenario play out and knows that I have no means of changing it. Fixing my chair to go low as possible I wanted to forget about today and possibly the last two years of my life with a little sleep and possibly something that can cure disappointment. But at last there could be nothing to cure everything wrong with humans so what chance would there be to find the cure of emotions for a hybrid like myself.

Guess I will just settle on sleeping today's events off then.

-o-

It's been two whole days, two stinking days that has been the worst two days my entire life. The constant worry from my family and mother who has been on my case about the sudden absence of Kelsey it made me want to scream. I did not feel like being bothered about Kelsey or Dexter in fact I did not wanted to be bothered by anyone else that are involved in my life packing my stuff from my grandfather's house I decided to go to the cottage that my mother and father left for me to relax in since they will bunking at Carlise house for a few days for the party that will never happen. Taking a long shower I needed to soak my troubles away; Alice kept calling me about preparations on the party tomorrow I would either ignore her or pretend to be useless for the party. I wanted nothing to do with that catastrophe; it is embarrassing to plan a party when it is a joke on you. I made sure to keep my mind blank when my father tries to read my mind because I did not need a mind reader to be thrown into the mix of my demise especially one who is so old fashion and at time hard to talk to about things.

Drying myself off I grabbed a pair of old blue jeans, combat boots and some black t-shirt that probably belongs to a guy but I did not bother to dwell on it. Putting it on I put my hair in a sloppy bun and allowed a few tendrils to fall out in place; I looked doable in fashion society so to make it more acceptable I grabbed a long grey cardigan that reached to my knees. Walking towards the piano in the living room I needed to clear my head from such craziness. I decided to play something that would clear my head completely and just let me float into space once my fingers touch the black and white keys.

When I play the piano it's like my body turns into atoms and I am one with the music where I am up high and no one can reach me. When I play I am untouchable when I play "Piano Works" by Claude Debussy, I feel so for the first time of my life in control of everything. Appreciating the beauty of the keys producing such a lullaby in my ears I begin to sway with the music my fingers do all the work and all I can is just close my eyes and float with each note in the sky on the musical sheet clouds. I can paint such a vivid picture inside serenity hugs me close while passion whispers in my ears about the strong deep bars of this piece. I can taste the delight of sunshine and the cool waters of mystery in this piece; I can hold its wonders in the palm of my hand watching it unfold like a flower on a spring day. My shoulders begin to relax as I delve more into the mystery; my hunger for excitement expands as the sounds get louder and progress more but as my fingers slow down my dream and the clouds slowly begin to fade away and I start to fall from the beautiful cloud nine into my body again as solidify myself back to be waken for the first time opening my eyes from the curtains before me that I am in front of the piano and my beautiful fantasy is over.

Applause is heard from the right of me, feeling caught off guard I go into attack mode only to see Jacob there. I blush all of a sudden and look away.

"What are you doing here Jacob?" I asked feeling so embarrassed that he caught me daydreaming into my little paradise.

"I came to drop off a package that came for you but when I saw you in your trance I did not want to bother you; you looked so serene when you play" He stated. I gave him a small smile still feeling silly and mortified about being caught in such a dilemma.

"Thanks, but you should of interrupted me or something" I told him, he shook his head no, as if I said the wrong thing.

"Ness, when you play it's like a lullaby or a fantasy world that feels so safe and adventurous. I can't explain it but all I want to know is if you will play for me please?" He asked. I jerked my head for him to come over it felt so nice to know that Jacob understood the world I would go into when I play.

"You know, you're the first person that actually understands how I feel when I play its like—"

"You're taken to a magical land where you are safe from the world and you could finally be—"

"Free" I finished, smiling that he value the same aspects I feel made me for once feel appreciate. Placing my hands on the keys I closed my eyes and started to dissolve back into the atoms to return to my world that I could now share with someone else.

-o-

Slowly ending the song I turned my head to Jake to see he too had his eyes closed, feeling elated from the piece I ended it much more softly gesturing to Jake that the song is over. Slowly opening his eyes I took the time to look into them to see such beauty shone from his black pupils. Completely mesmerized by the softness he is expressing I took the liberty to lean a little closer without showing him that I wanted to kiss him or anything; just the need to look into his eyes that captivated me with such curiosity.

"Where's your fiancé, thought he'd be with you by now" He asked suddenly the whole need to look into his eyes died down. I scooted away feeling so ugly inside for just being so close to Jacob while Dexter is away. I know I am still mad at him but that does not mean I should be taking such drastic measures to make me feel good about myself.

"He's at a business meeting with Kelsey they should be back tomorrow morning for the party that will start at night the same day they come back" I muttered, a small ball of anger roamed in me at the thought that they are in California together. Not feeling insecure about myself just insecure about the closeness those two always share it made me feel that they have reserved feelings for each other and I am just the rebound for the both of them. I saw the "little black book" I know how it ends and I do not want to be in that mix when push comes to shove that they still love each other no matter what and the joke is just on me.

"Really, how come you didn't go with him?" Jacob asked. I shrugged my shoulders not bothering to think about it. I already felt low about sending him off with my best friend to California together I did not feel like thinking about why I did not think about it.

"Because I am a foolish idiot that did not think about it" I answered.

"Hey don't beat yourself up about it" He whispered, while lifting my chin up to look up at him. Feeling his hand on my skin I felt a wave of ecstasy flown through me, I could not understand why such a feeling would go through me but I did not want it to stop. Scooting close to him I felt the need to be close to him, it is like my heart yearned to be close to him to the point where only the mix of our body heat lingered through in the air. Leaning close to him I stared at Jacob's lips for a small slow second before flickering my gaze to his beautiful chocolate brown eyes that looked pitch black right about now. He is probably thinking the exact same thing because his eyes finally looked up to mine. Tilting my head slowly to his I looked to his lips then his as reassurance that I am not being the only one in this; once he licked his lips I knew he is all in to kiss me just as much as I wanted to kiss him. Our lips were about to touch when I felt my phone vibrate to snap us back into the real world where I am an engaged woman who is marrying a man that has been there for me two years and Jacob a man whom I met a few days ago and still trying to figure out who he is to me.

"I think I should—"

"Yeah it's for the best if you do" I interrupted. Getting up I ushered Jacob to the door feeling so mortified that of what just happened. I mean it is not the fact that I nearly kissed him it's how I forgotten about myself it is like I lose myself when I am around Jacob and that is a bad thing. I cannot just lose sight of myself it should never be like that. Once we got to the door he instantly turned around nearly almost bumping into me which would lead us to kiss if he caught me and leaned in more luckily I backed away a bit avoiding that scenario. Smiling at him, Jake let out a small dry laugh that caused me to laugh along with him; God this is so awkward I bet he feels the same way too.

Waiting for him to explain why he has yet to move from his spot to leave. He just stared at me searching for something in my eyes but I had nothing to show or hide except embarrassment. I mean I did not want to be pushy or anything but I needed him to leave immediately so I could think things through or perhaps go on that walk I suddenly thought about which could help clear my mind.

"I almost forgot to give you your package" He answered. Looking shocked I smiled taking the package from his fingers and into my own. I walked him out the door making sure he left before closing the door to catch my breath. Walking passed the kitchen I placed the package over my old desk in my room. Grabbing my phone and keys I decided to take that walk I just thought about to clear my head, but then I realized I did not need some stupid walk I needed a girl friend to talk to to help me figure out what crazy whirlwind I jumped into. I could not talk to Kelsey because she defeated the point of someone to talk to when she decided upon herself to go with Dexter and keep me in the dark for Dexter to tell me. Thinking back I realized I did not have any one per say to talk to after my accident. Then it hit me: Leah Clearwater. Jacob said we were friends and possibly lovers laughing to myself at that last part I knew I could never date her; she just did not seem like the type to believe in love at the moment. I felt like I knew why but it just seem like a big fuzzy ball to me. Shrugging my shoulders I left my house. I needed someone to talk to badly and she is the perfect candidate for me; only one slight problem: I have no idea where she lives. Checking my phone I prayed that I had something remotely close to a piece of information on Leah, scrolling through my phone I found a contact number but the name above it is titled "Grumpy". Taking my chance I pressed the number and prayed that it would be her.

"Hello?" a grungy female voice answered. Now I suddenly knew why I put her under as "Grumpy". She is not polite when she answers the phone.

"Hey Leah; I am so glad I found you, I was wondering if we could talk?" I asked. I waited for about five whole minutes before I heard her sighing; it made me wonder if I happened to be a bad person to her when I use to have my memory; only one way to find out.

"Fine, meet me by the reservation in like five minutes" she answered; I felt her rolling her eyes over the phone before hanging up. I wonder who pissed in her cereal for her to be such a bitch to me when I have done nothing wrong to her or maybe I have. Shrugging my shoulders I decided to drive to the reservation that way when we are done I don't have to be in another hassle like at the airport.

-O-

"So what do you want Cullen?" She wasted no time to ask once we met up and I decided to drive us to the beach for a nice serene setting.

"Well hello to you too Clearwater" I answered back in the same tone, looking at her I saw a small little smug smile on her face as if she is testing to see if I gave her the right reaction; I guess I did.

"Look you seem to be the only one that would lay down the law around here let alone tell the truth so could you just help me out by telling me our relationship to one another?" I asked softly once we sat on the hood of my car that Alice got me since Baby is still in Jacob's possession.

"We were once best friends, you would always stop by to see me every day after school so we could hang out but I always refuse so as a compromise we would go running instead and soon after when you considered that I had finally lighten up we'd go out to town and relax or head into the city and have fun" She answered with a simple shrug of her shoulders stating it was no big thing. Perhaps to her it is not a big deal but to me it is valuable information.

"Just because it is not a big deal to you does not mean it was not a big deal to me, you were probably my most honest friend who would never hold back to speak your mind to me; maybe you hand tons of friends that did that for you but perhaps you were my only friend I could ever trust with anything" I answered, when I looked at her I noticed how she stared at the ocean as if I said something to upset her.

"Nessie, to be frank you were the only friend I had that I could trust with anything whether it was feelings, thoughts and even dreams. You were the one that pushed me to hold onto hope and all that other crap in life" Leah answered "When I heard that you lost your memory I felt like I lost my friend who put up with me and my attitude; and I'm sorry that I am being a bitch to you but it's hard to just sit here with a stranger that possess the looks of my best friend but has no recollection what so ever from what we've been through together."

"I'm sorry I had no idea that you felt this way Leah" I whispered feeling so ashamed all of a sudden. I guess I understood why I kept her around because she would always put one's feelings in check with reality.

"And I can't just sit here and watch someone in the body of my best friend wanting to pick up where she left off; I know you lost your memory and your family managed to get some of it back but what they failed to realized that around here you left a big imprint on all of us you were like our sister. And when they never bothered to tell you about us it killed us especially Jacob since you too been so close with one another since the time—"she stopped herself not wishing to continue or to be perused to go on. Nodding at her wishes I smiled feeling so stupid, placing my hand on top of hers Leah looked down at her hand then mind. I knew she is not the touchy feely type but I did not care.

"I know I cannot pick up where I left off or even try to fill the shoes I left behind, but if you will permit me I would like to try again perhaps with everyone and especially with you seeing how close we once were to each other" I answered. Leah stared hard at my hand before once glancing at me; slowly her hard features started to lighten up and I felt okay with that.

"I'd like that; it would be nice to have my old friend back" She answered. We shared a brief hug but I broke from it holding out my hand to her. She looked at it then at me as if I had lost my mind but shaking my head at her I gave her a small warm smile.

"Hello my name is Renesmee Carlie Cullen; I am a hybrid being half human and vampire. I lost my memory two years ago but that is beside the point" I told her she laughed at my small joke before taking my hand into hers and shaking it.

"Leah Clearwater, I am a werewolf and I left my ex boyfriend's pack to be in Jacobs because I could no longer stand to be around someone whom I once loved and is currently in love with another but that is besides the point" I smiled noting that she pulled the same old joke I did.

"I can tell we are going to be great friends"

"You know Cullen I think this is a start to a beautiful friendship"

"For once I agree with you; so will you accompany me to the city to catch some chick flick and do some shopping?" I asked her. She nodded her head hopping off the hood of my car to get inside following right behind her. I drove the car from the beach to the city; it felt good to have one honest friend and to be frank I am glad to only have Leah right now and no one else because they are either a pain in my ass or a headache I did not wish to deal with.

* * *

Well i hope you enjoyed that Chapter.

Tell me what you think Don't be afraid to share your thoughts.

Well off i go...

ChasingRiven


	6. Closer

A/N: Here I am sitting in front of the computer and nothing is coming to mind; I am sitting here waiting for the adventure to pop up and take my fingers away to type something but nothing is coming to view. As I sit back and relax and try again to focus a small world comes to view and it hits me I try too hard to see the wonders of the world when all I have to do is sit back and breath it's natural perfume and smile each day.

* * *

Chapter Five:

Closer

Jacob's P.O.V

It have been one solid days since that almost kiss with Nessie, I could see in her eyes how much she wanted to kiss me; I saw those old sparks ignite in her eyes back when she still had her memory intact. I always tried to ignore those looks because if I were to act or even initiate it I would feel as if I am taking advantage of her but now I know that if I were to do it, I would not be the only one alone in this. I failed to realize how much Nessie was all in to be with me while I am still sitting on the sidelines calling in her bluff and I paid the price; watching her talk about that imbecile I never seen Nessie light up so much. I truly felt jealous that I could not be the one to make her light up at the mention of my name or blush at the slightest thought of me, but here I am in my garage thinking of a girl who is happily engaged to be with another yet I am trying to destroy it because of my miserable state.

"Jacob a letter came in for you today" My father called out snapping out of my thoughts I walk inside the house to pick up the letter my dad left out on the table. It is from the Cullen's but I wonder if it would be from a particular Cullen that have not bothered to call or text me so we could talk about the piano incident. Opening the letter it happened to be an invite to a party at their house tonight.

_You are coordinately invited to a Celebration of the return of Renesmee Carlie Cullen_

_Please R.S.V.P by five o' clock today. Attire is casual formal._

_Party starts at 7:00 pm tonight._

Seeing that it is not from Nessie I crumbled the paper into a ball and threw it away, I did not bother wanting to be around a bunch of blood suckers and naïve humans. Walking outside I told my father I would be out late, I needed to go out for a quick run since I have not been running for a solid few days. I needed to stretch out my legs and clear my mind from Nessie and that almost kiss we would have shared if her phone never interrupted us. Maybe it's just my imagination to think that she would actually want to kiss me. And it is stupid of me to think that she would truly have feelings for someone like me; walking out to the woods I did a quick stretch before shifting into my wolf to get a good run in. Running through the woods, feeling the breeze kissing through my fur it encouraged me to run faster. Experiencing the thrill of the simple breeze go through me I did not bother to pay attention it felt exhilarating to feel this freedom of having no wonders in the world. Not paying attention I felt myself crashing into something, hearing the object groan in frustration I realized that I crashed into someone. Focusing my gaze I could only see bronze curls and beautiful moon kissed skin.

"Gee, Jake I get you like to run but could you watch where you're going next time" Nessie groaned I realized I might have crashed into her way too hard, nuzzling my nose in the crook of her neck; I felt her tense up from my touch so I backed away not wishing to make her anymore uncomfortable. Maybe I am just pushing my luck thinking I could just have another chance with Nessie, feeling so defeated I turned my back towards her heading back home; suddenly I feel her fingers going through my fur. Caressing my russet color fur I could not help but feel so tranquil by the touch of her fingers; they feel like light rain on a summer's day as she descend her fingers down my back it started to feel like the time when I took her to this creek I found, feeling so transpired by the fact that it bring her to a place like this out of kindness it probably meant the world to her.

"I'm not mad at you that you crashed into me; just please next time watch where you're going next time" She whispered, as she got up she gave me one last rub but when her lips touched my forehead I froze in my spot watching her sprint out of the forest on her way home. Dazed by her action on my forehead, all I could do is enjoy the small feeling it gave me; that kiss is drinking hot chocolate right off the bat and feeling the burning liquid scorch your throat with the satisfaction tickling down your spine and to your stomach. Feeling the chocolate rotate back and forth through my stomach my entire body shook; I could only feel the light Goosebumps on the inside, imagining the kiss on my forehead feeling like that I could only imagine what it would feel like if we were to kiss with no interruptions the main one being that she is no longer engaged to that pompous fiancé. This is going to take a while since she is madly in love with him so I need help reinforcements if I want to win Nessie back once and for all; so I changed directions and sprinted towards the Clearwater house.

-o-

"Ness did you pick up your dress from the city?" My mother asked, grabbing an apple from the table I shrugged my shoulders, showing her I am not in the mood to deal with this party that is actually going to happen tonight. Snatching the apple from my hand my father tussled my hair like the child I longer am, I giggled at his action because I know in his eyes I am still a little girl to him. All I want to do is scream "Dad I'm freaking twenty years old I'm not that little girl you taught piano to", but like any daughter who loves her father very much I could not destroy his little dream. Watching my father smile, probably read my mind on that part he tossed me the apple back before taking my mother in his arms whispering sweet nothing in her ears. Feeling so sick to my stomach I looked away because I know I could never have something remotely close to what my parents share with each other.

"So when will we meet this special boyfriend of yours" My father asked, snapping from my thoughts; I gave him a look. Knowing completely well that he is coming tonight for the party, I walked away from the two love birds that way I can think properly. Heading outside I grabbed the keys to the Aston Martin that way I can drive into town for that stupid outfit for this all white party Alice decided to throw; I will never get her obsession for themes. Getting inside the car, to see my family coming inside the house from their feed the thought of them always made me feel bubbly inside yet there is something completely missing from this picture. Someone that makes this scene more balanced without trying yet is my best friend; shaking away from the thought I start the car and head towards Seattle without another thought like that again.

Arriving into town, to the same boutique Kelsey and I stopped at, I walked inside without a care in the world pretending I own the place with such attitude I never knew I could possess.

"I want the dress Alice Cullen ordered for me right now with a row of shoes that can be paired with it pronto" I ordered "And if I do not see it in the next five minutes this place will be shut down".

Not wanting to be under my wrath they started to run like caught rats trying to find a section to hide or find what I came here for. Walking to the white couch I made myself more than comfortable I grabbed a flute on my right taking a nice long sip of very expensive champagne. After two minutes waiting the staff came in with a dress and a row of shoes that will be lucky to come home with me for this stupid party. But the dress captured my eye a Marc Jacobs mirror sequins V-neck tank dress, it's different and not one of the same which I liked but it is now time for the hardest part the picking of the shoes. Dismissing the shoes that failed to catch my eye I started to feel hopeless until a girl with thick curly hair like mine presented me a pair of the most beautiful shoes that is the soul mate for the dress: a pair of Gold Penny Shimmer Peep Toe Platform Heels.

"Perfect" is all that left my mouth, grabbing the dress and shoes I told them to put it on the tab under whose name that have the word Cullen attached to it. Placing my brand new outfit in my car with a new mood that this party might actually have a positive turn around I checked my phone for any news only to find a text message from Leah saying she wants to meet up at some diner in Forks. Texting her back that I will be there in a few; I turned the car on and stepped on the gas without a car in the world, driving as fast as I wanted to today is my party so that means the law does not abide by me no matter what says in the code of conduct. Pressing a bit more on the gas I started to feel a rush once the wind hits my skin; it is like an adrenaline injection I can only feel a burst of tingly sensation that starts in my Stomach and then moves up into my chest and explodes all over my body. Not wanting this feeling again I pressed my foot even more on the gas to the point where the gas pedal cannot go any further. Feeling free of the newly developed feeling I failed to see a flash of red and blue lights following behind me; the feeling died instantly once my foot came near the brakes I stopped the car.

"Do you realize how fast you were going mam?" The cop asked I made a face trying to calculate how fast I was going when I already know. Playing dumb I shook my head no obviously having no clue about what this cop is talking about.

"Honestly officer I was just trying to make it to town for a party" I answered giving him my best puppy dog look, which felt familiar like it is not the first time I did this before someone taught this to me whenever I wish to get out of trouble. Thinking much harder about it; it failed to come to me focusing back on the officer I needed to leave so making this as quick as possible I used compulsion even though I am never to use it unless it is for emergencies; meeting your girlfriend at a diner should be considered to be an emergency.

"Look here, Officer Lovett you are going to let me go because you do not want me to be late for my party right" I suggested, he slowly stopped writing on his pad to give me his undivided attention.

"Right" He answered all zombified.

"Now here is what you're going to do, you're going to rip that ticket up and forget this ever happen and let me go" I ordered him, he ripped up the ticket and walked back in his car completely forgetting about me. Feeling satisfied I pressed my foot back on the gas pedal making it just in time only to meet Leah walking in the Diner not alone, she decided to drag Jacob along with her.

Just my luck.

-o-

"Hey guys" I called out sitting in the booth they are in right next to Leah but directly in front of Jacob. This day could not get any worse, planting a fake smile upon my face I just needed this day to go as plan because I do not need any screw ups especially when Dexter will finally be coming to meet my family and announce our engagement finally. Thinking on that instead about that kiss Jacob and I almost had the other day; it started to actually work until I felt a hand over mine it made me feel hot inside which allowed the blush to cover my entire skin. Looking down to see Jacob holding my hand I removed it not wanting it to linger any longer, that is wrong what he is doing he knows I cannot share any form of contact that is not a platonic friendship.

"Jacob—please" I whispered to him giving him a pleading look, I do not need this not today—the day of my engagement party. Leah seeing what jut went down she cleared her throat before facing me.

"So tonight's the party are you excited about your "return"" Leah questioned, I smiled at her comment when she knows I want nothing to do with this party.

"To be honest, I don't even want to go but it's for the best" I answered. Leah laughed at my sad cruel fate I could not help but laugh along with her because she knows as well as I do I am only doing this because it's considered be the right thing rather than what I want.

"So if you don't want to go—why not blow it and hang out with us" Jacob offered I turned my head away from Leah to look at him. Did I want to do something like that, my heart started to beat fast at the thought of it; abruptly everything started to vanish, white surrounding us I felt the urge to go up and touch his face my heart encouraged me to do so but when the chef pressed the bell that perfect place that we were in shattered. Shaking the thoughts I gave him a small soft smile showing how touch of his generosity but told him no.

"Here's a better idea why don't you guys come to my party that way I can see familiar faces and be secure that I am not drowning with a bunch of vampires and fake people pretending to be my friend" I suggested. Leah agreed without a beat, looking at Jake he stared into my eyes hoping to find it inside me that I would truly want him there and not as a distraction. Truth is I need him for both, careful not to touch his hand I touched his shirt which I silently thanked God that it is not short today. I know that if I were to touch Jacob in any form of way where our naked skin were to consolidate I would slowly lose sight of myself and melt into him; which is why I feared that if we were not interrupted and our lips were to congregate everything in the world would disappear and so will everything that means nothing to me and I need those nothings to keep me focus on what is right and important and is acceptable. Kissing someone like Jacob would not go so lightly, though we are just humans we are from two separate worlds and I cannot have that in my life—at all.

"Alright I don't see the harm in not going" Jake answered, my face lit up feeling honest to God pleased that my real friends will attend my engagement party and support me no matter what. Submerging myself profoundly unfathomable in this delight conversation of freedom and happiness I lost track of the time, not caring if I am to be late for my own party I am for the first time in two years enjoying myself by being a part of something that was actually a part of me.

-o-

"So what should I wear for the party" Leah asked while I got ready in her bathroom, Jacob is downstairs waiting for us since he barely needed to wear anything but I would just have to be the judge of that when I get downstairs.

"Well it's an all white party so everyone except me has to wear white" I answered. I could hear her chuckling from her room, squeezing my body inside the pretty gold dress, it's beautiful sleeveless tank evening dress, in all over bronze tone sequins, with cross-back strap detailing I have no idea how to put the damn thing on so I did what I do best and guessed how. Putting it on from the bottom it slid down my body like a glove feeling satisfied that I looked pretty damn good in the dress though it only stops at my upper thigh for some girls it would look slutty but for me it just fits. I opened my hair it looked quite good being a curly hurricane after math not wanting to take away from the dress I only put a pair of square cut diamond earrings on along with the woven bracelet because something inside me refuses to take it off. Putting on some eyeliner, mascara and earthly tone eye shadow I walked out the bathroom revealing myself to Leah who dropped her magazine when her eyes glanced up at me.

"Well what do you think?" I asked "Is it too much?" Her jaw dropped to the ground.

"Damn Ness if I were gay I would so steal you away from Dexter" Leah answered, I smiled from her reaction which meant if hers is good that means if I go downstairs then to the boys I am flawless.

"Now for you my dear it is time for you to get ready and be pretty!" I squealed in a happy voice.

"Yaay!" Leah matched to my excitement in a fake cheery tone, giving her a "could you at least try" look she shrug her shoulders stating that this is all I am going to get so I should take it or leave it. Being a great friend I am I walked into her closet but all I can find is shorts and tees?

"You know I get you're not into the whole girly girl scene but would it kill you to oh I don't know keep a dress for emergencies like this" I told her. She just gave me a look but snapped her fingers as if she does have an emergency dress, looking far into her closet she pulls out a black dress but not any black dress a short Backless V-Back Beaded Dress tossing it towards me I caught in time to admire the fine work it is a short mini dress that goes above the knee with beautiful beading all over the shoulders down the back stopping at the butt. I did not know Leah could own anything like this it is breathtaking and when she pulled out the shoes she is going to wear I died on the spot: My best friend does have taste in the fine arts of the girly girl world. I did not even care that the dress is black it is completely beautiful the way it is and it goes well with the White Cut out Platform Booties Leather Heels.

"Put these on now" I demanded her pushing her in the bathroom, waiting for the girl to put the outfit on I grabbed the magazine she was currently reading which talks about how to deal with your anger when you want to find "the one". I laughed because there is nothing wrong with Leah, she is perfectly fine anger and all and if she were to get rid of her anger then she would not be Leah Clearwater anymore. Grabbing the magazine I opened the window to toss the piece of garbage out.

"Well how do I look?" She asked her tone seemed to be a bit insecure.

"Leah I'm sure you—"I stopped because I died at the sight of her. The dress hugged every curve she has, also to reveal ones I never knew she possessed. Who knew running as a wolf would do this to a person, I definitely need to try it because it's obvious I have nothing I mean come on this dress I'm wearing I am not even wearing a bra because of my b-cup boobs. As oppose to Leah's c-cup that dress look damn desiring, and her short hair cut made her look like a vixen a hot sexy vixen on the prowl ready to stalk her next pray. My eyes trail down to those damn hot sexy stems she calls legs, I am itching to cut them off and past them off as my own. Blinking my eyes a few times I looked away because if I stare at Leah even more I would get jealous and try to kill her for her looks.

"Damn Leah you should totally wear dresses more often" I told her she did a few poses, gaining a little bit of confidence, the small spark of jealousy I thought I had towards her vanish because Leah normally does not wear dresses so it is her first time and she is wearing one for my party. Leah is by far the only friend who would push pass her comfort zone to do this for me.

"Are you sure it's not too much I mean I can change—"

"Don't you dare even think about it, Leah you are freaking hot I would so mount you" I told her, I noticed a small red blush crept to her cheeks upon her Amazonian skin tone; I never knew she have it in her to blush the way that she does. Getting the eye liner and mascara along with a few makeup things, I gave Leah the Smokey eye look which makes her mysterious as well as approachable but unobtainable.

"We'll tell me what you think" I told her jerking my head to the window. Catching a glimpse of herself she gasps from the sight of herself.

"I look freaking hot" she said, she gave me one quick hug; getting a little cocky I brushed my shoulders and shrugged them to boost my cockiness more.

"Well what can I say when I'm good I'm damn great" I answered "Come on let's go downstairs the boys are probably getting testy". Leah nodded going out before me I turned off her lights and closed her door mentally preparing myself for the critics downstairs.

Watching Leah going downstairs I could hear the wolf whistles from below, obviously impressed by the looks of Leah. I even heard Seth say "You actually owed a dress?" followed by a slap on Leah's behalf because Jake said no fighting.

"Nessie as much as you can see these two are getting a little impatient so would you please get your butt down—" I heard Jacob stop talking once my foot stepped on the stair, coming down the boys stopped what they were doing to look at me. Feeling hot in the face, I hid my face in my hair since I pulled it down and it goes pass my shoulders, making it easier to hide from their stares whether good or bad I do not think I could handle such stares especially from Jacob who looked at me in a way I have never seen him look at me before.

"Well how do I look?" I asked Seth gave me a goofy grin clearly in love by the way I look.

"You look marvelous Nessie" Seth answered, I told him thank you feeling good; turning towards Jacob waiting for him to say something all he did is stare at me. Seth nudges him in the ribs which snapped Jacob out of whatever world he is in to come back to right now.

"You look radiant" He told me, I do not know why but when he told me this I actually felt special the way he said radiant made me feel far more superior to the word beautiful and any other word that could never match up to Jake's compliment.

"Thanks Jake" I whispered

"I see you're wearing that bracelet" He added. I wanted to ask him what this bracelet meant to him but I pushed it pass my mind once I looked at the time.

"We should get going, can't be late for my own party". Everyone rushed out the door making sure not to make me late for the party, we all crushed ourselves in my baby me in the passenger seat, Jake in the driver and the Clearwater's in the back. Not waiting for us to get in our seat correctly Jacob pushed his foot on the gas making all of us jerk back into the seat. In a flat of two whole minutes we magically make it to my house, only to see colorful lights take over the entire house making it look so playful.

"I wonder what's going on inside" I questioned, walking to the house everyone else followed behind me curious as well to see what Alice accomplish this time. Opening the door I can only see colorful lights with a weird rave ambiance. Walking more inside the house amazed by what Alice organized, everyone is either dancing in the living room helping themselves to food in the kitchen and sharing conversation with anyone who does not want to do either. I even noticed that there is a mixture of black and white attire but I am the only one that is in a gold dress.

"There she is!" I felt exposed to the scene, feeling like a fish out of water I stood still until my family came into view with a happy look upon their face; guessing they know something I don't. They all came to me one by one hugging me tight whispering how proud they are of me, again feeling confused as ever I waited until somebody filled me in on what the hell they are talking about. It was not until Dexter came into my vision that I realized he told them of our engagement.

"Everyone quiet down these two lovebirds has an announcement to make" Alice ordered, right away everything became dead quiet making me uncomfortable about the scene.

"Nessie and I have been wanting to tell you for awhile about our love especially since we have decided to take it to the next step" Dexter started off walking towards me, he held my hand earning a few 'awes' and 'how sweet' I just wanted to die on the spot. I mean I did want to tell my parents about our choice just not like this with everyone that is humans and vampires and my closest friends. Sensing that I am not continuing on the conversation Dexter decided to take the reins in this by presenting me the damn crystal ball of a ring in front of everyone. I looked at my family who were infatuated by the ring but I knew they saw more extravagant jewelry from their past lives; I guess they were just playing the part of the human life since they do not want to bring any attention to themselves.

"This amazing woman before me has presented me the honor of marrying me" Dexter finished while on one knee, slipping my present life on my finger as it reached up to the end of my left ring finger I slowly started to come to myself that what happen these past few days are mistakes and could never happen because I have signed a contract once I said "yes" to Dexter I agreed that I am his and only his. This means I must forget about my old life because I am starting anew with him.

"We're getting married" I finished pretending to be excited, everyone else took that as their cue to whoop and holler with a thrill of excitement that I am getting married. Dexter got up to kiss my lips I did everything in my power to return the feelings as much as I could, but it just felt so dead to me. Interlacing his fingers into mine he held my hand walking towards my family dragging me along with him, turning my back to face Jacob and the gang I could see how broken they looked that I dragged them into something like this without even warning them. Particularly Jacob who looked pissed off but he already knew about my engagement when he saw my ring the first time and confronted me about it; but when my eyes reached his he looked so angry as if he has been through something like this before. Mouthing the word "sorry" to them I allowed Dexter to drag me to my family so I could face the consequences of not telling them.

"Congratulations" Alice, Carlise, and Esme broke in, breaking the silence when Dexter and I entered. I could feel the disappointment radiating off their faces and to mine. I mustered up a smile feeling tons excited that I am getting married but inside I wanted to die from the fact I am getting married to a man who has been nothing but my best friend and loved me flaws and all but I cannot recuperate the feeling back.

"Thank you" I answered, giving her a hug. Staring at the rest of them I gave them a look telling them to be happy for me; that it's my life and I will do whatever the hell I damn well pleases me. Sensing my choice, the rest of them all got off their high horses and congratulated me and Dexter on our engagement. Taking Dexter's arm I pulled him away from my family to talk to him privately when Kelsey finally decides to show up; I swear this girl has the worse timing in the world.

"Congrats you too" She stated, I gave her a smug smile but I pushed it off and walked away still dragging Dexter with me. We arrived in a smile secluded corner in the house that way we could talk to each other and hear each other.

"What the hell Dexter; you leave me alone for two days, you don't call and you have the nerve to tell my family about our engagement without me" I yelled quietly completely pissed off by the fact he pulled this stupid stunt in front of me.

"What can I say Ness, you did not pick up your phone when I landed so I did not know where to go; luckily Kelsey knew the way to your house and when I got to your house excited to see my fiancé just so I could make it up to her for leaving her by herself for three days; I was told you were nowhere to be found so not only do I look like a fool but you never told them about our engagement" Dexter replied making the same tone and frustration I am in.

"But you told them, when I was not there so who here is the bad guy and the victim" I answered.

"You have no idea Nessie how embarrassed I felt when I asked your father his blessing upon our marriage only to find out he had no idea what I was talking about" Dexter added. I held myself feeling so low and stupid that I did something like that to Dexter, I should have told my family but he left me alone to be with Kelsey on some business trip so how is that fair to me. I wanted to say that but I already felt so low and stupid for doing something like that to him, not in the mood to talk I decided to enjoy my damn party.

"Where are you going?"

"To dance at my damn party is that okay with you" I snapped. Leaving Dexter dazed by my action to head to the dance floor, dancing to a few songs I started to feel free a little but still felt trapped at this damn party I needed something or someone that can make me feel free and forget about myself at the same time. Searching for Jacob I could see he is talking to Seth, making my way over to him I could hear bits and pieces of their conversations.

"You have to tell her man before she makes the biggest mistake of her life"

"It is not my place, they already made their choice I should honor it"

"Honor what?" I cut in, they looked caught in the action trying to figure out a way to untangle themselves in this situation, Seth headed towards his sister who is currently flirting with some guy who I do not even know. Facing Jake I waited for him to answer my question when I folded my arms across my chest.

"Honor what Jacob?" I questioned waiting for him to answer the question.

"Honor the fact—the fact your parents don't even want me here" He answered, I raised my eyebrow completely not buying his story. I choose to let it go, I did not need any more troubles in my life.

"Well I want you here Jake, that's all that matters right now and forever more" I answered, holding out my hand to him. He looked at it with confusion, I chuckled by this.

"Come dance with me you silly goose" I told him

"I don't dance" he answered

"Lies" I whispered pulling him towards the dance floor, a song just started I swayed by body to the music starting to lose myself in the music I turned to see if Jacob is doing the same only to see him standing there.

"The whole point of dancing is to move your body" I told him.

"I told you I don't dance" he answered.

"And I told you I don't believe you" I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled him close to me so that our bodies were touching rather intimately forcing him to have no chance but to dance with me. Smiling at my plan, Jake stared to move his body slowly and erotically to mine making me to lose my smile but blush by his choice, not backing down I matched his only making it much more sexual. Hearing him growl I knew I won this battle, laughing at his defeat I held on his neck tilting my neck laughing. I felt his fingers weave through my hair pulling me close to him, I felt completely free and wild around him; around Jacob he made me feel like a wolf. Wild, free and most of all he gave me that adrenaline rush I would always crave. It is like a breath of fresh air being around him, continuing dancing close to him; everything once again disappeared only to leave him and I together; feeling like a teenager all over again finally dancing with the guy I have had a crazy crush on all I could do is blush.

"Beautiful" I heard him whispered. Moving closer to him I wanted no space between us, I needed nothing more than our clothes to become one. Our breaths matching to the same beat of our own drum, I could feel the Goosebumps crawling on my body. What is happening between us is more than just some physical connection it is much deeper than that. It is like some weird gravitational force is pulling us together forming some weird bond between us and I did not want to fight it I just wanted to feel it. Looking at his lips then to his eyes I started to lean in only hearing my heart beat screaming through my ears begging me to kiss him; he started to lean in as well. This is actually going to happen and it would finally settle this unanswered rush between us, unexpectedly I am being ripped away from Jacob by Dexter. The music finally poured back into my ears snapping me back into reality once more.

"What the hell Nessie, I come looking for you; only to find you about to kiss some loser" Dexter screamed.

"Excuse me, don't you dare talk to him like that" I snarled, I had no clue what is going on with me, but I felt the need to protect Jacob.

"Are you being serious, you are engage Nessie to me, you leave me for ten minutes to act like some stupid slut behind my back I thought you knew better than that." Dexter snapped "I guess I was wrong—about you I don't want my name to be attached to some whore who cannot even keep her legs straight". I could not believe what he just said, I never knew he have this kind of side to him, looking back on it I cannot believe what I almost did. I nearly allowed myself to once again be free with someone who is not betrothed to be my husband. Feeling the salty wet tears roll down from my eyes, my heart could not take Dexter's harsh words killing it. I looked around to see the party stop with all eyes on me.

_Congrats me you managed to make a fool of yourself _I thought to myself. Feeling so disappointed and disgusted with myself from my very own actions I ran out the door ignoring the protest for me to come back. I could not handle facing the music of a party I just ruin from my own stupid actions and personal hidden desires. I needed to get away from everyone so I went to a place where no one could find me because for the first time I do not wish to be found by no one.

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What a chapter!

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ChasingRiven


	7. Careful Where You Stand

A/N: So I bet you're wondering what just happen? Let me explain: Through this next installment of a chapter. Enjoy.

Share you're thoughts in the review box because like i said i do read them and value your opinion. in other words Review

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Chapter Six:

Careful where you stand

Jacob's P.O.V

Watching her run out the door; the party soon fell into an awkward silence. Some people started to leave others stayed behind to talk to Bella and Edward giving their regards and wishes and their services to help track down their daughter: It's been five hours since her disappearance. Watching her fiancé I could not help but feel the need to punch his daylights out, he is just sitting there talking to that twig from before; they are showing concern but they are not doing anything about it. How could Nessie just sit there and allow herself to be friends with such people.

This all could have been avoided if I told her how I felt on that treetop instead of treating her like the child she never is. It is just hard to accept that fact that your soul mate the one you took care off when they were a child soon grows up and is ready to take the next step with you. It seemed like a joke that is being played on me to actually accept the fact that Nessie wanted to be with me so much and rejecting her right to love me killed her. I am not a good soul mate at all. Hearing the twig laugh at something the carrot top said to her really set me off; marching right up to them I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed him to the nearest wall. The twig gasped in shock, trying to pull me off him but all that did is made her tired.

"What is your problem" He yelled, oh great he has an accent too. Nessie sure knows how to pick them.

"You are, how could you just sit there and watch your fiancé run away; you should be out there running after her or at least looking for her" I yelled, He pushed my hands down making me release the turd from my grasp. He brushed himself off and looked me dead in the eye almost to challenge me.

"Now I don't know who you are to Nessie but whatever relationship you have with her has no say between my fiancé and me aright" he calmly stated. I wanted punch that accent right out of him, he did not seem concern or worried about Nessie; shaking my head from the thought I did not want to bother with them anymore I should be focusing my energy on finding Nessie who could be in some serious trouble. Leaving the Cullen residence, I walked over to Nessie's car started the engine and drove out to the side of the road that way I could look in the woods without anyone following or questioning me.

"Nessie?" I called out, walking into the woods I opened my ear to any sound that would lead me to her; fifteen minutes into the forest no luck. I cannot help but feel that this is my fault that made her run out on her own party; I should have stayed away when she announced with the turd that she is marrying him. I should have just said no to her when she asked me to come to this party of hers, but here I am looking for her because I feel responsible for all of this. I should have just asked her to leave that night she came to my shop from hunting, I should not have touched her when she was crying or when I first saw her. I could have easily avoided all of this making sure she had a life away from me but some part of me deep down did not want to lose her completely. Seeing her that day has been the happiest day of my life in two whole years. I should have told her the truth from the time I found her in the cottage; but I wanted to be close to her seeing her play again gave me the hope that I had a real shot in making things right with her.

"Nessie are you here?" I called out once more when the silence took her place in answering me. I took it as my cue to go home and leave her be. Her fiancé will come find her and they will be all happy and crap then she will forget about me and live her life once again without me. Walking back to my car, I tried to forget about Nessie and everything that happened between us during these short few days with the drive back to my house. The closer I tried to forget about her the stronger she stayed in my head, from her blushes to her sweet sassy mouth. It became hard to forget about someone who you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with. Making it to my house I knew I would be alone tonight because I sent my father to some fishing trip with Carlie for the next couple days so it would just be the house, me and Nessie's car. Parking to the side I noticed a soft gold object shifting by the foot of my door, getting out the car I made my way over to the object to investigate what it could be I started to hear soft sobs, and the answer suddenly came to mind.

"Nessie, what are you doing here?" I questioned. Her head shot up to face me, I could see her make-up running and her nose looked bright red under my porch light.

"Oh Jake, I uh wanted to take a break from all that running" She laughed drily, I could see right through her and she knew that too she rubbed her eyes trying to be collect herself but there is not point being that I was there when it happened. Realizing that her plan failed, her shoulders slumped in defeat; covering her face in her hands she repeatedly stated how stupid she is over and over. Grabbing her hand, I made her look at me showing her she is not stupid to me. She lightly smiled but shook her head telling me she cannot help but feel that it is her fault. Hating myself for not being able to comfort her in the way I wanted to, I opened my door gesturing to her to come inside so she could clear her head.

"I am so sorry Jacob I just had nowhere else to go" She whispered, I gave her a smile showing her it did not bother me one bit. I am actually quite happy to see her here alone with me and no one have no possible idea that she could be here. Seeing her holding herself broken from his words I did not want her to destroy herself anymore, taking her hand into mine she stared at hand for a lingering moment before looking at me. I gave her a reassuring smile that she is safe here with me and no one will ever hurt her. Giving me a weak smile she could muster up I pulled her in my arms rocking her back and forth shielding her from the world protecting her from all harm. Whenever she felt broken I would pull her in my arms showing her that she has done nothing wrong; she could pour her heart out and no one will ever know about it because this is her sacred world. I always told her my door is open to her when she does not want to deal with the outside world which is why she is always here with me.

"You can stay here" I whispered to her, when she took a break from the sobs of her heartache. I did not want her to go just yet she needed to be here with me she needs to be safe. She nodded her head accepting my invitation to lay her head somewhere secure. Leading her to my room she stopped feeling hesitate about this. Turning towards her I reassured her that nothing will happen to her.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Positive" was all I said giving her the answer she needed to hear. Walking inside my room I looked through my closet I used to give the old Nessie a pair of clothes of mine whenever she wants to stay the night; it would always be a t-shirt and a pair of boxers; I gave her a black shirt before but she decided to keep it because she loved the feel of the fabric against her skin. So I gave the new Nessie a pair of boxers and a black t-shirt, when she looked at it she gave me this shocked look as if she figured something out.

"I have this exact shirt at home" She breathed out; I smiled feeling satisfied that she actually kept it.

"Yeah, I allowed you to take it home because you said you loved the fabric against your skin" I told her she blushed from the comment then headed towards the bathroom. Sensing her frustration that she could not find it on the first try I gave her the directions and headed back to my room to change into my boxers and a t-shirt because I did not want to push Nessie comfortable levels with me sleeping shirt less. Hearing the bathroom knob click I walked out the room to find Nessie in just the shirt and the boxers in her hand.

"It's too huge" She answered giving me an embarrassing smile, staring at her long legs I could not believe I allowed those go unnoticed. I guess I had been staring at her legs for more than I needed to because she cleared her throat causing me to look at her eyes. Feeling so ashamed for my actions I looked away trying to hide the fact I am staring at her legs; but that did not change the fact she is just wearing my t-shirt and it seemed to be extremely huge on her petite body.

"Would you like something to eat?" I asked she shook her head.

"No thank you I'm still shook up from the party" She answered, I ran her fingers through those curly tresses making her look so tempting tonight but I could not push my luck.

"If it's alright with you I just want to rest" she whispered rubbing her hand against her arm while looking away. Holding my hand out to her I took this as my chance to get close to her.

"Do you trust me?" I asked her, she looked at my hand then me before nodding. Taking my hand I led her into the bedroom before closing the door behind me. Over the time I renovated my bedroom so it's a bit huge; I placed the king sized bed in the middle of the bed and enlarged my closet. I straighten the place up I was not expecting any visitors but when Nessie told me she did not mind the mess I just smiled and led her on the bed. Going on the opposite side I laid right next to her with my hand underneath my head.

"Do you want to know something?" I asked her, she turned her head to me; I turned my head towards her to see those beautiful chocolate brown orbs once more. She does not know it but whenever I look into her eyes I am being taken away on a voyage into her space where I can see what is going through her mind.

"What?" She softly whispered giving me a hint of her mint fresh breath, taking a strong whiff of her scent I could smell the pine needles off her along with the waters from the lake. She has always been a lover to Nature; there is not a day Nessie is not in the forest doing God knows what.

"You're party—no offence stunk" I told her. Her face started to relax and her lips formed a smile allowing a soft chuckle escape her lips.

"I'm glad I am not the only one who felt that way" she answered. I smiled knowing that I got her right where I needed her to be: relaxed and calm.

"I mean I could have thrown you a better party" I stated. This time she turned her entire body towards me waiting to hear how I could do such a thing.

"Everyone knows that every party needs alcohol and chocolate" I answered. Her laughter filled the entire room, feeling good that I got her to open up a bit she clutched her stomach obviously laughing herself into pain.

"Jake you and I both know that would be the drunkest thrown party ever" She said. I smiled at her comment all I have to do is just to get her to open up more and then I will be able to put myself in her good graces.

"I've been wondering?" I started, she looked at me waiting for me to finish. I knew if I asked this then I would either be shut down and be asked to take her home or be given the silent treatment her entire stay.

"Jake?" Snapping out of my thoughts from the sound of her voice, I decided to take chance with it.

"Have you ever thought about leaving him?" I asked she stared at me before shifting her body so that her back in on the bed and that her eyes would only face the ceiling.

"For the longest, I have been wondering who I am; after losing my memory I tried to pin point my identity but nothing; I felt the puzzle pieces in front of me but I had no idea who to piece them together, and there was no one to even help me. And it frustrated me how I could not put it together and what made matters worse my parents shipped me to Yale on my own without allowing me to create what I used to be all over again" she started "And a carrot top British speaking boy name Dexter comes along and makes me forget about it all; he made me feel like my past was nothing more than just some distant memory, he gave me the hope to recreate myself without a care in the world and for the longest since my fall I felt good that I can be a new person and not care about those pieces so no it has never come to mind because I cannot leave someone who stood by me".

I stayed silent from her answer, I felt so guilty for just leaving her alone to fend on her own on that journey to figure out her true self. I no longer wanted to tell her about the truth; it has been painful enough for her to figure it out so I decided to leave it alone. Taking her hand from her stomach I brought it to my face almost to analyze the beauty of her hand; I could feel her eyes on my skin.

"I'll tell you who you really are" I whispered "You are a girl who is special, unique and caring, never takes no for an answer. You are charismatic and a free spirit; you are never easily broken and you are never afraid to speak your mind; don't let anyone tell you otherwise". Turning to face her; a small tear rolled down her eye feeling touched by my words, if it were the old Nessie I would have already kissed her but facing the new Nessie she smiled at me giving me a small thank you.

"No problem" I answered, letting my grip go from her hand waiting for her to release her hand from mine, and she just let it stayed. Facing her once more I could see the wheel starting to turn once more in that mind of hers I could tell she is trying her hardest to figure out our relationship but I possibly will not tell because then it will just complicate things. Sensing that I will not answer any question about us she just scooted closer towards me pulling my body towards her back, she lifted her head so she could rest her head on my arms. Frozen in shock by her sudden gesture it became impossible to believe that this is actually happening right now. Playing with my fingers Nessie made herself cozy in my arms; sometimes I wish I had her father's power to know what is going on in that mind of hers. Instead she projects to me what she is thinking; she shares a memory of the time she and her twig of a friend went shopping somewhere and it started to rain; but that did not stop them from running in the rain like crazy people shouting on the top of their drunken lungs feeling carefree. When the thought vanished, and nothing came to replace it, it soon dawned on me that she wanted me to share a memory with her as well.

"Jacob"  
"Yes?" I answered.

"Share a memory with me that you are most proud of" She finished. I cleared my throat; she snuggled in my arms more waiting for the story to start.

"It was a sunny day and you dragged me outside to go out with you because you told me that a beautiful day like this should be taken advantage of; so you dragged me in to the woods taking me so some secluded spot that I never knew was there. It was a place where you can look out the entire forest of Forks and not be seen at all. When we sat down on the rock that served to be a ledge you leaned into my arms and we just sat there talking for hours about everything and anything that came to mind. But what really mattered to me is how you shared with me your secret world you go to clear your head; you once told me that whenever you sit on the ledge you feel like you are above the world and feel so free that you can actually fly with the wind; I on the other hand thought you were suicidal about sitting so dangerously close to the edge I failed to realize you wanted to be with me" I explained. I felt her stopped playing with my fingers.

"I asked for a memory you were proud of" she laughed "Not one where you could—"

"That is a memory I'm proud of because it was the first time I got to be so close to you and not have a care in the world" I finished. I felt her smile against my arm she started to play with my hands again; I wanted to address this intimate position we are in but when she buried her head in the crook of my arm the thought to ask flew away once the soft touch of her curls brushed against me.

"Jake?" She whispered.

"Yes, Nessie"

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure"

"Promise not to get mad?" She asked, I thought about what would possibly get mad since nothing Nessie ever does would enrage me. It got me curious to know what the question is.

"Promise"

"You said you were in love the second time but you were too late…too late from what?" She asked.

I sighed from her question I did not want to answer it but it is best if she knows when or if her memory returns to her. Taking a deep breath I wanted to make sure to be in a calm state because if I am to tell her the partial truth that means I have to go through memory lane again.

"The second time I was in love, it was to a girl who was just like you and she wanted more; unlike me she was ready to be with me ready to explore the world on her own as long as I was by her side but I just was not ready. And it when I was ready I was already too late I had lost her; I just let her fall in love alone and she fell hard with no one to save her." I explained.

"Why didn't you go and find her again and tell her that you were ready?" Nessie asked.

"Because when I found her I was already too late, I couldn't save her from my very own mistake and someone was already there ready to take her away from me; and she accepted their help and she in the end fell for him" I answered. It was her turn to sigh; I had a feeling she had an idea I was talking about her but when she asked "Do you still love her?" I did not know what to do. I stared into space thinking; of course I still love her there is never a day I did not stop loving Nessie but seeing the ring on her finger still I could not help but feel that my love is not enough for her.

"It doesn't matter" I told her. She turned her body so she could face me; I could see her pretty little face scrunched up into an angry scowl from my choice of words. I can tell she wanted to hit me but what can I say; she is still going to marry him no matter what I say in the long run so what is the point to answer her question.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter, of course it matters!" she yelled, "If I were still in love with someone that loved another I would fight for them day by day"

"But it's too late she is going to marry him" I answered hoping she would get the message.

"It does not matter if you still love this girl; you fight for her married or not show her that you are not going down without a fight, if you truly love this girl then you should not let your mistake be in the way for your love for her. I'm sure this girl loved you more than enough that she wanted to be with you no matter what; maybe you just did not want to believe she was ready" Nessie answered. She laid her head back on my arm staring at the ceiling with me and it got me to think how right she is. Some of it made me to think if she remembered the day the fell, but it seemed too good to be true. Leaving her to her thoughts I started to think a bit more about what she said; allowing the silence to take up our conversation I could not help enjoy this moment with her. Fate must have felt so guilty for taking her away from me that she allowed this moment between us two to truly happen.

"Did you really think my party sucked?" She asked. I started to laugh I guess I was not the only one who did not want this moment to go away between us. Endless hours we continued to talk about everything and anything that came to mind. It is almost like the old times between us two; where we will stay up all night talking until the sun comes up. Laughter filling the room, I felt like I was being transported back in time from the time when Nessie spent her eighteenth birthday with me because she feared that she did not want her special day to go to waste with a dumb party:

"Why spend it with me when you can be with the ones that love you and you them" I asked, she turned her head giving me that old goofy smile that always pulled my heart strings.

"Because you silly wolf I am spending it where I want to be—with you and only you" She answered. I ignored her statement feeling like it is too soon to act upon her teenage feelings, she is still young and has yet to explore the world and she does not need to waste her life being with me. But since it happen to be her only wish on her birthday I allowed her to spend the night with me giving her my old black t-shirt and boxers I allowed her just this once to fulfill her dream.

-o-

I did not want this moment to fade between the two of us but it seemed like a torturous dream. To not be able to share this memory with her seemed so unfair. Once again fate always found a way to be cruel once again never allowing me to finally get her to be mine. So I can only enjoy what I have before the sun rises and she instantly feels better enough to go back to Dexter and for them to fix their problems. It seemed selfish of me for not asking her about her feelings about the party but when she laughed and hearing it fill the room once more I could not help but want to feel selfish and keeping her to myself just for the night. I did not even feel bad when I saw my phone ringing only to see Bella calling me; I never bothered picking it up because any sudden distractions would kill this trance between us and I could not afford that.

"Thank you" She lightly whispered, I could hear the sleep taking over her voice. Feeling the sleep cover us both, Nessie snuggled against my arm more to find her comfort zone before dosing off to sleep, watching her sleep for a few minutes making sure she is safe I finally went to sleep not too long after her. As I dreamed looking forward to that nightmare I always have every night followed by the sudden rush of me waking up and could never go back to sleep. It never came, in fact for the first in two years I had a peaceful dream that I cannot explain. It was just the small moments I shared with Nessie lately. From the first moment I saw in two years in my shop looking like time never changed her or what happen between us to the time we went to the beach and I phased right in front of her. I could still feel her fingers roaming over me feeling so transfixed by the phenomenal that she was born into. To the small water fight in my house I could feel her smiles lighting up the room with laughter and such fun I have not had in a long time. Including the time she played for me and all I can think about is how I floated in the air into a musical paradise and it hit me it is not me who is having these dreams it is Nessie. Her hand is still holding mine; I guess she cannot control her projection when she is slipped into a sub conscience state. When it plays to the almost kiss I could not help but feel out of breath from the closeness when I leaned towards her; she wanted to kiss me just as much as I wanted to kiss her but once her phone rang the thought suddenly vanished. It soon switch to the diner I felt how she tried to avoid my skin; I know that if she were to touch me in any form of way where our naked skin were to unite she would slowly lose sight of herself and melt into me; which is why she feared that if we were not interrupted and our lips were to meet everything in the world would disappear and so will everything that means nothing to her. She needed those nothings to keep me grounded from me the thought of being alone with me kept her afloat, when she spent that small amount of time with me she started to feel different more free to the point where she started to connect slowly with her old self once more and it scared her. Nessie tried to steer clear from me because around me she started to feel completely free and wild feel like a wolf. Whenever we are close or start to touch she loses herself in me I could tell from the time of the party when we danced.

"Beautiful" I whispered. Watching Nessie move closer to me I wanted no space between us, I wanted nothing more than our clothes to become one. Our breaths started to match to the same beat of our own drum; I could feel the Goosebumps crawling on her body. What is happening between us is more than just some physical connection it is much deeper than that. It is like some weird gravitational force is pulling us together forming some weird bond between us and I did not want to fight it I just wanted to feel it. Then it dawned on me that our bond has started to form all over again and it has become stronger than the last; which is why she felt so safe in my arms she did not wish to leave. Feeling secure that there is a glimpse of hope in winning Nessie I held her in my arms bringing her closer to my body allowing her thoughts to take over me because for the right now I just wanted to be engulf by her sweet serene state with her skin under mine.

-o-

Waking up early in the morning on my side of the bed, with no sense of the time I stretched out a bit because I felt comfortable, I barely remember what happened last night. A few minutes later it all starts to replay in my mind. I panicked wondering if Ness left feeling so stupid for spending the night with me. Turning on the other side I see Nessie's face, with her copper curls covering her face as she slept. She looked so peaceful I did not bother waking her up instead I pulled her on my chest feeling her snuggle more in my arms she found her comfort spot on my chest. Only her soft snores filled the room before I feel back right to sleep with the girl I never stopped loving in my arms.

"We'll face the consequences for our actions later but for now let's just enjoy the right now" she lightly whispered. Smiling by her answer I guess she knew what happened as well but did not want to move just yet; and I did not blame her for feeling just as selfish as me for wanting to stay in this room where no harm can come to us because we are in another world when together.

* * *

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ChasingRiven.


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